Teri Kami ---

YET another song which touched my heart the first time i heard it.
Teri Kami by Agaman...
simple lyrics but beautifully sung.....

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teri nazar ka nishana hoke
firta hu me sabse begana hoke
teri ghani zulfe yeh jaane jana
uljhati he mere dil ko rozana
tere na me bhi haan lage
yun na ab tarasaa


teri kami he...tu kahan
tere liye hu....me yahan
teri kami he...tu kahan
tere liye hu....me yahan


dekha tujhe to meine yeh jana
tera mera rishta purana
teri adaye lubhati rahee gungunati rahee
mere jaan

tu bas khadi muskuratee rahee
kuch batatee nahi meri jaaan
tere na me bhi haan lage
yun na ab tarasaa
teri kami he...tu kahan
tere liye hu....me yahan
teri kami he...tu kahan
tere liye hu....me yahan



tere bina kaise jiyu me
rasta tera takti rahu ab
aaake mujhe sang leja zara
tere na me bhi haan lage
yun na ab tarasaa
teri kami he...tu kahan
tere liye hu....me yahan
teri kami he...tu kahan
tere liye hu....me yahan

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URL : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mwnCBI3ryZ8

Good Life - by Francis Dunnery

Seldom are songs made which really touch your heart.
I was watching Scrubs, the first season where a certain Dr.Cox is checking out old pics of him and his divorced wife. The song starts playing in the background and he goes into flashback mode. His past. Recollecting all the wonderful moments, the fun they had, the marriage etc etc. and then there is smile on his face.
Then he looks up and sees his junior doctor standing at the door and says to him
"She was never boring". There was a smile on his face. But the pain in his heart was so evident. The lyrics of the song went so well with what had happened between the two. The scene touched my heart so much that i went online searched the whole song, downloaded the mp3, the lyrics.

This song deserves a place on my blog. :-)

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Softly Now,
You owe it to the world
And everyone knows that you're my favourite girl
But there's some things in life that are not meant to be
I'm not meant for you and your not meant for me
Here's to our problems
And here's to our fights
Here's to our achings
And here's to you having a Good life
From Me
Good Life

Softer Now,
You owe it to yourself
And don't think that you will be left on the shelf
Cause there's someone for you and there's someone for me
Like me you'll meet them eventually
Here's to your lover
And here's to my wife
Here's to your children and here's to you having a good life
From Me
Good Life

Baby Baby Baby Baby
Baby Baby Baby Baby Baby Baby

Louder Now,
You've lost all your pain
You're married with children and happy again
And now I'm regretting the move that I made
Fatal mistakes are so easily made
Enough of my problems they only cause fights
Forget that I rang you
And promise you'll have such a
Beautifully happy and painlessly romantic
Good life
From Me
Good Life

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URL : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PuRY44kD2Gk&feature=player_embedded

2011 - Here I Come

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wow...

writing here after one whole year !!
no entry for the year 2010 !! ...
its surprising that the writer in me was dead for that much time.
hmmm i wudnt say dead...maybe pre-occupied with other important things perhaps.

well....i guess i shud start writing again.
too many feelings are getting bottled up inside. have to remove them out else i will "implode" !!


But no worries....Sudz is back...


so where do i start. ok let me talk abut 2010. wat an eventful year.
full of laughter,sadness,pain,joy....ahh that that happens every year dosent it.

2010 ...this was the year i had decided to be more serious towards life.
decided to think about my future both personal and professional.

i really dont remember much of the first part of 2010.
Jan to May. things were going on normally on the professional front.
personally life was good. happy. a bits of shocks here and there but somehow things resumed to normal..

but come June... got a chance to achieve something on the professional front atleast.
worked like a donkey from June to October. never ever in my past 4-5 years of infy have i ever slogged so hard.
i guess the pressure of being a team lead got to me.
but somehow i enjoyed spending 15 hours a day in office and they say hardwork pays.
i did get the rewards for the efforts i had put in.

Needed a break which came in Nov. a full month of araam back in doha,qatar. my home.
it was a much needed break on the speed at which my life was zooming.
Got to clear up the mess inside my head on the personal front.
Was ready and not scared to make some bold decisions.

But then in Dec, things didnt go at all my way.
Sometimes in life u have to make spontaneous decisions. Coz if you choose to think too much on it, it might be too late.
The chance the opportunity just goes away. Things which seemes to be attainable suddenly seems to so distant.
Come Dec 31.
Decided not to be outside but just be with family. Just prayed to God for the next year.

HAPPPY NEW YEAR people.
2011.-- I can feel is going to be a very very eventful year for me.
I might buy a bike.
I might complete my long pending certifications.
I might get a new job, better salary.
I might get a house.
I might get married !!

Uff... big plans. Lets see how things turn up.
I never planned my life uptil now. Was letting life take me where it wanted.
But I guess there comes a point in life where you have to decide what you want from life.
That time is now.
And i guess i am ready for that.
God bless me. God bless everyone.
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Tu Jaane Na.....

I havent written anything in a very long time... dunno what wrong... i have so many thoughts in my head but somehow they are not coming out.

Well...with the current stuff going on in my head.... i happened to listen to this song...and somehow i felt i found my medicine to guide me through this night atleast. Lovely song by Atif...touched my heart str8 away...

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Lyrics Song: Tu Jaane Na

Kaise Batayein,Kyu Tujh ko Chahe,Yaara bata na Paaye
Baatein dil o ki, Dekho Jo Baaki, Aankhein tujhe Samjhaye
Tu Jaane Na, Tu Jaane Na,Tu Jaane Na, Tu Jaane Na

mil ke bhi, Hum na Mile,tumse na jaane Kyu,

Milo ke hai Fansle..Tumse Na jaane kyu,

Anjaane Hai SilSile,Tum Se Na Jaane Kyu,

Sapno hai Palko Tale,Tum Se Na Jaane Kyu,

Nigahon mein dekho, jo hai bas gaya,woh hai milta tumse, hu ba hu..
Jaane teri Aankhein thi, ya baatein thi,Wajah.. hue tum jo,dil ki aarzoo
hum pass ho ke bhi,tum aas ho ke bhi,ehsaas ho ke bhi…apne nahi..

aise hai hum ko gileh..tumse najaane kyu..
meelo ke hai fansletum se na jaane kyu..

tu jaane na..tu jaane na..tu jaane na..ohhjaane na.

jaane na, jaane na tu jaane na..

Khyalon mein laakohn baatein,yu toh keh gaya,bola kuch na tere sahmney..
hue na begaane bhi tum hoke,aur dekho tum mere hi na bane..

afsos hota hai,dil bhi yeh rota hai...Sapne sanjota hoa..pagla hua,

soche yeh..hum the mile tume se na jaane kyu,
meelo ke hai fansle tum se na jaane kyu..

anjaane hai silsile,tumse najaane kyu,

sapne hai palko tale,tumse najaane kyu..

Kaise Batayein,Kyu Tujh ko Chahe,Yaara bata na Paaye
Baatein dil o ki,Dekho Jo Baaki,Aankhein tujhe Samjhaye
Tu Jaane Na,Tu Jaane Na.................

Homecoming..... : The ping-pong drink :

Oct 20 2009

I went to the local supermarket with dad ....aptly called the INDIAN SUPERMARKET.... This was one stop where we used to get the vegetables from. Although there were many other things available there, when it came to buying the veggies...mom loved this one place. And here i was again today. While just loitering around i suddenly came across a whole crate of cans kept stacked on each other and i just happened to have glanced across them and there it was SHANI. Oh how I missed this drink. Lots of memories attached to this one as well. Without giving second thought i bought it.

When i opened the can and took that first sip inside my mouth......aaaaahaaaa...that taste.....that sweetness ...i closed my eyes and it took me back to the past...

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I must have been in the 6th std. I had joined the Table-tennis coaching classes after school hours. I remember I and my neighbour and friend Nitin, we used to go to learn and play ping pong together. I was not much into sports as a kid. But then when I used to see other kids or my seniors play and perform...I used to feel....Oh..I wish I could do that....Oh...someday I wish i could. Well the only reason I joined the TT classes was to make an attempt towards that goal. I was just amazed by the way those guys used to hit that small little ping pong ball so hard and yet everytime it used to somehow find its way on to that table. I used to love the way that ball used to swirl in the air and spin on the table. And i wanted to learn all that. Hence one day...I go to my dad and say...."Dad...I wana join TT coaching. Nitin is joining too." And dad looks up at me in a very diff way with a bit of a shock. I am sure he was thinking and wanted to ask me " are you sure son?" ....hehe....but he didnt. He said "Ok". So there I was, my first day at the coaching, holding my new TT bat in my hand, waiting for my turn to hit that ball and boy-o-boy i really had fun. That evening Nitin's dad came to take us home. We were all sweaty and tired and exhausted and I really needed something cool to drink. A pepsi or a mirinda could do coz that was all i loved that time. But then there sitting in the back seat of his car, Nitin removed 2 cans of some strange drink I had never seen in my 6 years till then and handed one can to me. I held the chilled drink in my hand and saw the name SHAANI and i wondered "..hmmm...how will this taste." I was always reluctant to change so i refused it at first and asked Nitin, "dont you have pepsi?". And he said "no....but try this...its nice." I had no choice, I was thirsty and i really needed something to drink. So there it was ....my first ever sip of SHANI. The moment I sipped that drink on my tounge and down my throat and savoured that taste, i knew this one was going to be a regular for a long time to come. And it was.

I went for a month to learn and play TT and every single time, while coming back home, I had a can of SHANI. Every single time. Ofcourse later too whenever we used to go out shopping, I used to buy that drink and another good thing then, my bro didnt like it much....so I could have the whole drink for myself and nothing to share...hehehhahha... I later took part in various TT tournaments and I made sure I used to drink that before and after my game. SHANI to me what spinach was to Popeye. hehe... I won some of them ...I came to the finals and lost some of them....But one thing was there, i had achieved what i had set out for. I could swing that ball in the air and spin it on the table anytime now. TT became one of the sports where I could say I was and still am good at. And Shaani had a part in this achievement of mine. hehe.. I love SHANI...



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And here I was back home after 7 years and drinking that same drink and enjoying it in the same way i had enjoyed it the first time I had tasted it.
Now how nostalgic is that.

Homecoming.... :The arrival:

Oct 15th 2009
The pilot spoke "Ladies and gentlemen, we are about to land at Doha International Airport. Please fasten your seat belts."I peeped out of my window, there it was the land I grew up, the land where I spent my whole childhood, the land where I spent 12 years of my life, the land which laid the foundation to what I am today. And I am returning to that land after 7 whole years.

The time was about 5:30pm there.As the plane hovered closer to the groud I could see the seaface ( called the corniche ) , building, roads and most predominantly...sand. Oh I missed this sand. The plane had landed 15min early. Luckily, I got through the customs and security check quickly and got my baggage too in no time. I came out of the airport hoping to see mom, dad, bro but no one was there...yet.A couple of minutes later, saw dad and bro walking up towards me. A few tight hugs and broad smiles were exchanged as we made our way to the parking lot. While walking they suddenly turned towards a light-greenish blue car. For a moment I wondered why
were they doing that......coz i was expecting our nice and old Mistubishi tradea (light blue ) to be there. But then it had slipped off my mind that we had got a new car and this was the 1st time i was seeing it. Wow...Amazing...Nissan Sunny. As I was admiring the car, I suddenly realised that there was someone sitting inside in the front seat. At first I didnt recognise her. The creamish colored salwaar and the few white hair on her head, Mom was there smiling. I opened the door and hugged her while dad and bro put my luggage in the car.

My family ....for the first time in 7 years we were together here in Qatar in our new car. As dad drove towards the house, with me looking outside like a small kid who was seeing something amazing, bro kept askeing me..."do u remember this....do u remember that".....and I trying to wake up those dead cells of my brain which had saved all the info about the streets and
roads and buildings and people of qatar. I was sadly unable to remember most of it. Qatar had changed. Many new bulidings, more cars on the road, people driving on the roads at speeds above 80. same was the speed at which our car was going. As we reached the streets near our area, thats when I started to recollect where we were. The roads, streets and buildings around
my house were the only familiar things. As dad drove the car towards the parking lot and I saw the same old building. The same building I spent my 1st std to the 12th std.

We got down from the car and dad opened the door. The same arabian style door handle. And there it was my home. Dad mom and bro walked in. I entered last. slowly and steadily looking aroud. Old memories coming back with each and every little thing I was seeing around me. Mannn that feeeeeling can never be described to anyone. It can only be felt. As I made my way to the hall, the sofa, the Tv, the curtains, the showcase which had my medals, my cups, my momentos. The carpet below , the chandilier , and there were the 3 most closest people of my life standing and watching me getting amazed by all this. I needed a hug and I got a group hug. My tears had to escape from the eyes. And this was just the hall.

We then moved to my room. The same white cupboard which I had decorated with stickers all over. The same study table. The same little place where we kept the Gods. There were a few new things/sofas/pc and stuff but apart from that everything else was just the same.I opened the drawers of my study table. And saw the same old pencil-boxes, the same pens, found my school diary, some books with Sudhanshu Std VII written on them. Then I found something really close to my heart. Something which I was really proud about. My school badge. "Asst. HEAD BOY" written on it. We moved to the other rooms, the kitchen, the store room ( where I ended up seeing my old toys, games, deflated football, my old cycle etc etc etc...etc ).

I went to the bathroom. The same mirror hanging at the same height on the wall above the basin. I stood in front of it.There was a time when I couldnt see myself in the mirror, so I used to take a small little stool and climb on it to see. Well I couldnt see my self this time too, I had to bend myself to see. Mann.... Time has gone so fast.

We had dinner , a nice family talk and I went to sleep early. It was only 9:15 pm there but thats 11:45 pm IST and I was tired.

NUMB ----

what an amazing song...for what I am feeling right now......

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I'm tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless, lost under the surface
I don't know what you're expecting of me
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes

(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)

I've become so numb I can't feel you there
Become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

Can't you see that you're smothering me?
Holding too tightly, afraid to lose control
?Cause everything that you thought I would be
Has fallen apart right in front of you

(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
And every second I waste is more than I can take

I've become so numb I can't feel you there
Become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

And I know I may end up failing too
But I know you were just like me
With someone disappointed in you

I've become so numb I can't feel you there
Become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I'm tired of being what you want me to be
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I'm tired of being what you want me to be

_--Linkin park..

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