The Shining Star

Sipping his last peg of vodka, Akshay said," Guys, I am in love". What followed was a roar of laughter from his friends.HAHAHAHAHHAHA.

"Dude, guess you are really drunk". one guy said. Another roar followed. This time the decibel levels were even higher.

"Guys, I know I am drunk. But what I am saying is true. 200 %. I swear."

"OK ..dude...we believe you. Whos the girl?", Rob asked.

"Nivedita!" , Akshay replied with a smile on his face.

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Next day at the canteen, Rob asked, "Akki, do you know what you said yesterday?"

Rob was Akshay's very good friend. Infact one of the very close friends he had. He knew what was happening in Akki's life and was always there with him in good as well as bad times.

"uhhh....", Akshay tried hard to remember. "Nivedita!!......" Rob replied as if giving a hint.
"Oh Shit!!!! ......Did I really say so ? ...NO way dude.....I was drunk ...It must have slipped....I possible cant....Couldnt....." , Akshay said clearing things.

"Dude, there is a saying --people say the truth when they are drunk. All the secrets from their hearts leak out. And I know you dude, I could see the love in your eyes for her.....Cmon dude....She loves you too..." Rob explained.

"STOP!! Mann...STOP!!" ,Akshay interrupted him. "You know I possibly cant. Not after all that has happened to me."

"Look at me", Rob ordered Akshay. "Now, tell me honestly, DO you love her?"
There was silence. After some time, he replied " YES".

"Well, then cmon dude, why didnt you tell her then when she had proposed to you? And why dont you tell her now, that you do love her!!". Akshay was silent. Rob continued.

"Listen buddy, whatever happened was in the past. Get over it. Look as if its a new
beginning. If you love her, tell her." Rob said.

"No, yaar, I cant....Cmon ..you know what I went through. Its true that I love Nivedita. I know she loves me too. But I dont think I would be able to...you know pull it off this time as well. What do you think Rob? DO you think I can pull this one off? Ahhh ...No...No...No way dude. Its spooky. I dont think I am ready for another relationship. I would prefer being single."

"Listen dude", Rob said. "You know what your problem is. You are so afraid of being hurt that you are going to end up all alone.!! Probably some time in the future, you would realise that you missed a chance. A chance to have forgotten the past. A chance to have started something new with someone who loves you. A chance to be happy for the rest of you life..."

Rob continued with his talk. He could see Akki listening with full alert. He could see the confidence seeping inside him.

===========================

Nivedita was sitting in her balcony. Her roomates were not at home. She was alone. She was on her favourite place there...the swing. She was reading a book. But her concentration was somewhere else. She was thinking about Akshay.
She remembered the day she had proposed to him and how he didnt say a YES, neither did
he say a NO and how all he said was ," I am not ready ".She loved him very much. She just couldnt love anyone else now.

Lost in her thoughts, she got disturbed by her mobile ring. "Akshay Calling".

She gets startled. "Hello", she says.

"Hi Nivi. There is something I wanted to tell you. Will you come down?" , Akshay said.
"Uhh, Down?...where are you? ", she enquired.
"Look below" was the reply leaving Nivedita to peep over the balcony.

She saw Akshay there. "Coming", she said running down.
Akshay had meanwhile started climbling the 3-storeyed building. They met on the stairs. 2nd floor.

"HI", Akshay said. 'HI' was the reply.
"These are for you", Akshay handed the white daisies. Nivedita loved daisies.

She looked up after admiring the flowers. There were a lot of things going on in her head. Questions after questions were popping. Before she could say anything, Akshay spoke.

"I have been thinking about you Nivi. Thinking a lot. No matter how hard I tried to neglect and prevent your thoughts from coming into my head, I just couldnt stop them. Everytime, everyplace, everywhere I go, you are always there right there in my thoughts, my dreams. When you told me the other day that you loved me, I felt very happy, but my past came haunting me. It was not that I didnt love you. It was just that I was afraid. I was not afraid of loving, I was afraid of loosing you."

Nivedita listened with complete calmness.

"I have lost the ones I loved, Nivedita", he started again. "I was so scared of this darkness
in love, that I stopped to search for the stars anymore. And thats why I decided to live my life on my own. Without love, ignorant of the fact that you were shining over me all this while. But now ....I realised that I am not afraid anymore!! I am not scared of getting hurt anymore!!"

"I love you", he ended after a pause.

Nivedita couldnt stop her tears from rolling out. "I love you too", she replied.

"Hmmm...I know" , Akshay winked hugging her.

The Way You Look Tonight

Dosent it happen with you guys too, that you are just sitting doing something or maybe doing nothing at all, and suddenly you remember a song you heard long time ago. And there it is, just pops up in your head. Well. I was doing nothing today at work and out of no where, the below song was what I remembered.
=========
Some day, when I’m awfully low,
When the world is cold,
I will feel a glow just thinking of you…
And the way you look tonight.

Yes you’re lovely, with your smile so warm
And your cheeks so soft,
There is nothing for me but to love you,
And the way you look tonight.

With each word your tenderness grows,
Tearing my fear apart…
And that laugh that wrinkles your nose,
It touches my foolish heart.

Lovely … Never, ever change.
Keep that breathless charm.
Won’t you please arrange it?
‘Cause I love you … Just the way you look tonight.

Mm, Mm, Mm, Mm,
Just the way you look to-night.
=========
--by Tony Bennett.

Also FYI, this song featured in the movie " My best friends wedding " . It was here when i heard it first. Julia Roberts and Dermot Mulroney ,having their last dance on the boat. This was "their" song. The scene was heart touchin and the song lovely.

URL:
http://croonerculture.com/the-way-you-look-tonight-tony-bennett-mp3-and-lyrics/

Dont worry, be happy

Raj sat in the cab ready to go home. He had a busy day at work. He was really tired. He had his worries. But at that moment, with the radio playing some of his favourite songs, all he was thinking was of sleep.

"Sir, take this", said the driver handing him a box of sweets. Surprised, he looked up taking one sweet out of the box. "Thank you", whats this for?", he enquired.
"I got a baby boy", replied the driver."Oh cool, congrats yaar. I am so happy for you" , Raj replied." Thank you sir", he said starting the car.
"What about Arun? I guess even he was expecting a baby. Ooops, I mean his wife was expecting a baby!! ," Raj enquired tounge in cheek, smiling.
"Yes sir, Even Arun had a baby boy last week". "Cool", Raj replied smiling, wondering how proud these guys must be feeling of becoming a dad. And then his thoughts started drifting to a situation where even he would one day be holding his own baby in his hands. But before he could run away with them, his thoughts were intercepted.
"Sir, Arun has gone to his hometown. His baby had some problem.", the driver replied.
"Problem!!...what problem? " Raj replied.
"Not very sure. But the baby cant swallow anything. I mean when they feed her milk or anything, it just comes out from the nose and mouth and everywhere. I guess the baby has a hole in the upper jaw. The doctors said that since the baby is so small, it would not be possible for them to operate her to fix the problem right away. They have asked to wait for 6 months to see and hope the jaw gets filled by itself, naturally. Else, after 6 months the baby would have to undergo an operation." Raj listened to all this with complete calm.
"So how are they feeding the baby? What are they feeding the baby"?, he enquired.
"Dunno sir, prob its on saline. Not very sure" was the reply. "Hmmm. Sad", was the only thing Raj would say. Raj was lost in his thoughts when he realised that he had reached his house. "Thanks", he said getting out of the cab.

Same day, Raj spoke to his cousin studying medicine. He came to know that the condition the baby had was called CLEFT PALATE!! A congenital deformity caused by abnormal facial development. Such conditions occur somewhere between 1 in 800 births!! The good thing is that it can be successfully treated with surgery.

A few days late, Arun came to pick him up. Raj wanted to enquire about his son and tell him how sad he felt for him. But before he could say anything, Arun spoke, "Raj sir, did you see yesterdays match", he started. He went on talking about it with the normal excitement he shows every other day.
Later...
"You know sir, the petrol rates are going to change soon. There was this huge line at the petrol pump. I was in the line from 10. My turn came at 1." , he said smiling.

Raj thought to himself. This guy seems happy but inside he must be feeling very sad. He wondered what must be going on with Arun and his family. He had known him since 15 months and had never seen him without a smile on his face. He seemed the most cheerful person around. No one would guess that he had problems going on. Speaking of problems. Everyone of us has problems, dont we, but then some of us just cant stop cribbing about them and then let others get affected by them. While there are others, like Arun, who just dont let them come and interfere in their professional life. Wish it was possible for everyone to be like him.

Raj wondered why God sometimes just cant see people happy. Why does he have to put in troubles in the life of a person who chooses to be happy under any situation, come what may. Raj felt his troubles were nothing in comparison to what Arun must be going through. He kept mum till he was dropped off to office. He didnt want to change Arun's attitude.
"Maybe six months later would be a right time to enquire about the baby. ", he thought.
He promised to himself to pray for the little baby.
========================
Hope you guys reading this will pray for the baby too.
Cheers.

dark...till the very end...

He was trapped. He didnt know where. He didnt know why. He tried to remember where he was.

What he was doing. But he couldnt, even after trying so hard. But he had to. He had to try. He closed his eyes. Didnt make a difference as it was already pitch dark. Then he remembered. He remembered her. He felt the room getting filled with brightness as soon as he remembered her. He felt free. He felt happy. He saw her image standing there right in front of him. He saw her face. He noticed a smile on her face. He felt a breeze creep in from nowhere and blow her hair. She was looking so pretty. Her smile was as lovely as ever. He stretched his hand towards her, but she was not within reach. He felt tied up. He tried to break free. But he couldnt. He asked her to come close to him. But she did not. Maybe she couldnt. Maybe she tried but couldnt. Maybe she didnt try and hence couldnt. He didnt know what was going on in her head. He tried very hard, used up all his strength to reach her, but he couldnt. He didnt want to give up. He called out her name. Please, please come. Help me. But she couldnt. He tried to see the expression on her face but he couldnt. Was she still smiling? Why was she still smiling? Did she not hear his voice? Did she not hear his calls? He didnt get any answers. The more he tried to go towards her, the more she kept moving away from him. And before he could realise her image suddenly vanished, leaving him in darkness yet again. There was silence. Absolute silence. He could hear nothing. No, he could hear something. It was his heart. It beating very fast. He could hear his breath. He was quiet. Moment passed. Suddenly, he felt a pain. He felt something piercing his heart. He felt as if someone had put a dagger straight into him. The pain was terrible. He felt the blood ooze out. He felt his tears roll out as if trying to compete which one would drain out faster. He opened his eyes. There was still darkness around. He couldnt feel anything. He felt his body becoming empty. He felt the emptiness inside. He felt the hollow inside. He felt he was getting cold. Very cold. But yet he was thinking about her. He felt weak. Suddenly, memories which he felt had been wiped out, came back. He felt scared. They were haunting him. He shouted. He screamed. He screamed so loud that he felt one of his vein burst. But no one heard him. No one could hear him. He was alone. He was tired. He felt the sweat on his face. He felt his body getting wet, making him feel more cold. He felt his hands get numb. He felt he couldnt move his legs. He felt his brain going hazy. His heartbeat was slowing down. Her vision again appeared in front of his eyes. He felt happy and he felt sad both at the same time. It was a strange feeling. Slowly, steadily, the heartbeat dropped. His eyes were closing. He didnt want to close. He wanted her vision to be there till the very end. He didnt want to loose it. He didnt want to loose her. But the eye lids seemed to be very heavy. He tried his best to keep them open. His brain was now numb. He gave out one last gasp of air.
His hearbeat stopped.
His body was still.
But his eyes were open.
He kept them open.
He kept them open till the very end...till the very end.