BOL DE JO BHI HE

John: whats wrong mate?
Anil: NO nothing.
John: Cmon i can see it in your eyes. Temme whats bothering you.
Anil: There is this girl.
J: AHA, now u r talking.
A: I love her yaar.
J: Dude, you sure its love. Or is it just one of those many ...
A: NO man, this time i think its serious.
J: U "think"....
A: i mean , i know.
J: What makes you say that.
A: Well, firstly everytime i see her my heart starts beating faster.
J: Go see a cardiologist.
A: Everytime she comes in front of me my brain stops thinking,my body goes numb.
J: Well got to a neurologist.
A: DUDE...BE SERIOUS.
J: HAHA, OK sorry sorry. Go on.
A: See i can speak freely with all the other girls but with her, something happens. Words just dont flow out.
J: Hmmm..then my friend i guess u r indeed in love.
A: Hmm.
J: since how long have u been seeing her, i mean knowing her.
A: About 2 months now.
J: Thats more than enough time. Well if you love her, tell her. Time waits for no man. Jo dil me he bol daalo.
A: Hope it was that easy.
J: It is man. Look at me. I have told each and every girl i had feelings for. No matter what the result.
A: Ya right thats why you are still single.
J: Dude, i dont regret being single. I am happy that i was once in love. For me that is what counts. I will always cherish those moments and will pray for all the girls i have loved to be happy. They will always remain special.
A: You are different man.
J: See, its not about me being different or not being different. Its just that if you like someone tell them. There is a saying, " Always tell the one you love that you do so, if you do they might break your heart. But if you dont you might break theirs.
A: Hmmm.
J: What hmmm. So when are you telling.
A: Its too early man. We are just getting to know each other. Dont want to loose a friend.
J: Dude, listen to me. I had read a line once. "With people you know friendship easily blends, but to the one you love, its tough to call her your friend."
A: Where the hell, do u get all these lines from? Anyways it was a good one.
J: See, now you are talking.
A: Well i dont know how she feels about me.
J: Dude all that i am saying is tell her you like her. You are not proposing or something. Just telling her your feelings. Just tell her, "I like you." Or " I think i am beginning to like you". You know something like that. Not being to pushy and yet making her aware of the situation.
A: Hmmm
J: And continue to be friends, and let that flower of friendship bossom into love. I had read somewhere, " friendship and love are like two hands of a clock, Sometimes it is the time itself they block, They may meet at one point and depart at the other, but the fact that they stay connected is all that matters. Friendship is that brick to build the wall of love."
Friendship and love gotta go hand in hand. One cannot survive without the other.
A: Know what, i have no idea from where you get all this stuff but it sure sounds good.

J: haha, Tell her soon and lemme know how she reacts.
A: Sure. Here goes nothing.

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LET GO

"Hey Zayed, Meet me at the 'bench' at 5:00 pm", Karan smsed me. An sms without his smiley!! Karan misses the usual smiley when something was wrong, dead wrong.

The 'bench' he was talking about was the one in our common society garden. The good thing about it was it was in one of the corners, isolated from the children who were quite noisy at that time of the evening and also from the prying eyes of the elderly who used to come for their evening strolls and gossip.I and Karan have had many a secret discussions there right from our
school days.

I reached there on time. Was surprised to see Karan there before
me. This was probably the first time it had happened.

"Hey buddy wassup", I asked.

He was silent.

"Now are you or are you not going to talk."

He was silent. His face didnt seem too happy.

"Cmon temme whats bothering you."

After 5 minutes of coaxing he finally opened up.

"Remember the girl I had told you about long time back....Sneha", he
said pausing.

"Go on...i am listening".

"She is getting married",he said with a tear drop in the eye.

"Oh!", I said putting a hand on his shoulder.

"I dont know why I am feeling sad. I mean this was the girl I had a crush on intially, which later developed into love. I mean there was this "something" about her, I think it was her eyes, her eyes were so beautiful. But she was a good person, a good human being. I had imagined so much. I wanted to marry her. I will remember all those moments I spent 'with' her and also those 'without' her. Those days of talking to her, those nights of thinking about her, those days of
writing about her, those days of gazing at her, those days of...., I remember how I used to think everyday how to tell her, how to open my heart out to her. But somehow I couldnt gather the strength, the courage. I was such a coward."

He spoke all this without taking a breather. It was as if he was waiting. Waiting to explode out his feelings. Waiting for someone to listen to.

I saw another tear coming out from his eye.

I was quiet.

He was quiet.

"Know what Zayed, I had infact told her once. Had told her that I like her. She had smiled. She had shyed. I thought that was it. That was the end of my search for love and a beginning of something new, something wonderful. But she didnt say a word. I saw acceptance in
her silence."

The tears had started flowing at a steady rate now. I couldnt do anything. I was patiently listening.There was silence, a temporary one.

"I saw acceptance in her silence.", he repeated. "I saw acceptance in her eyes. But I guess I was wrong"

He kept quite again. This time the silence was longer.

"What happened? Did she..." I stopped.

"NO she didnt refuse as such but she didnt accept as well", he continued.
"I mean I had never actually proposed as such. I had just told her my feelings.She just said that she likes me too but as a friend. I remember I had cried a lot that day. But somehow I was tough, I know that you cant go and do anything against destiny. DESTINY. I surrendered to destiny. So soon after I forgot about her. We kept in touch as friends though. But I stopped thinking about her. That makes me wonder yaar, was it really love. Coz if it was then I would have been really really heart broken and may have got into depression, but I didnt. Or was it that I was too strong, my heart was too strong to break, my mind was too strong to keep thinking about her."

He was speaking more freely now. He wiped the tears with his fingers, sat up straight and looked at me.

"You know what Zayed, I think I didnt try hard enough. I mean I guess I was being too pushy on her. I mean if i really loved her, I should not have let go easily. I should have chased her, forced her, convinced her that I was the right man for her. I should have won
her over. I should have allowed her to fall in love with me. I guess I didnt try hard enough. Who knows she might have been with me here today at this very moment. I agree that destiny rules and you cant go against whats written for you. but you can give it a try."

I smiled.

He smiled.

"Ya, I know that I am kind of opposing my own statement but hey I should have tried. Guess its me myself I have to blame.But know what Zayed, I am happy for her. I will pray for her. I wish her to have a good married life ahead. And know what dude, I even told her all this when she told me today she was getting married."

He was smiling now. What a turnover. He came to me with so much of sadness in his heart
but guess those tears brought all that out from his heart. Its good to cry sometimes I guess. And look at him now, he was joyful.

"Know what Zayed, Sometimes I feel that in love its better to let go. If you feel the other person would be happy if you let go, you should. Love isnt all about the results. Love isnt all about feeling glad in finally getting the one you want. Sometimes the path to it is also joyous. Those moments I have spent with her will always be special. She herself will always be special. And I will be happy and proud to say that I was in love once."

"True",I said. "Thats like my buddy"

"Thanks man for hearing me out."

"Anytime buddy", I said. Happy to see him happy.

We got up and started to leave. It was getting dark.

"By the way what happened to your 'destiny's child' ", Karan asked winking.

"Well, work is in progress" , I replied, both bursting out in laughter.

DEVOTION...My heart is beating with hers

Hey folks....


here are the lyircs of a song a friend of mine forwarded to me long time back........a group called DEVOTION




(spoken)


Dear god,I know that she's out there...
the one I'm suppose to share my whole life with.
And in time...you'll show her to me.
Will you take care of her, comfort her, and protect her...until that day we meet.
And let her know...my heart...is beating with hers.

=======


In a dream I hold you close, embracing you with my hands
You gazed at me with eyes full of love and made me understand
That I was meant to share it with you My heart my mind my soul
Then I open my eyes And all what I see reality shows I'm alone
But I know someday that you'll be by my side
Coz I know God's just waiting till the time is right


God will you keep her safe from the thunderstorm
When the day is cold will you keep her warm
When the darkness falls will you please shine her the way
God will you let her know that I love her
So when theres no one there that she's not alone
Just close her eyes and let her know
My heart is beating with hers............My heart is beating with hers...


So I prayed until that day (prayed until that day)
When our hearts will beat as one (when our hearts hearts will beat as one)
I will wait so patiently (patiently)
For that day to come (for that day to come)
I know someday that you'll be by my side


Coz I know God's just waiting till the time is right
God will you keep her safe from the thunderstorm
When the day is cold will you keep her warm
When the darkness falls will you please shine her the way (shine her the way)
God will you let her know that I love her
So when theres no one there that she's not alone

Just close her eyes and let her know
My heart is beating with hers


Is beating with hers (ooo)My heart is beating with hers (oooo)It's beating with hers



Dear God, Just let her know.

Q&A
<<<--------->>>

This is not a poem, this is not a song.
These are words from my heart, to me they belong.
There are times when everything you do goes right,
There are others when everything just goes wrong.

The ups and downs in life we do face,
But there are some things so hard to replace.
Seasons may come, seasons may go
People you love are so hard to let go.

Life is a gamble, life is a game,
You win or loose, you have no one to blame.
Sometimes it puts you in such a position,
To choose between friendship and love , oh what a situation.

I fell in love with my friend’s love one fine day,
Can I do this, is this okay.
I didn’t have an answer, didn’t have a clue,
I needed to find one soon, better for me and you.

That night a fairy came in my dream,
Told her about the position I was in.
She gave me the answer I wanted to hear,
Felt relieved, had lost all fear.

It was an answer everyone should know
Should I tell you all, maybe yes, maybe no.
I can feel your excitement increasing slowly
But the answer is like that, so divine…. so holy.

She said,Life’s like a book, with pages all clear
Its upto us to fill them with things that are dear.
Never sacrifice your love, you should be bold.
Time is the healer, just wait for things to unfold.

You may get what you want or you may not
Life’s like that sometimes cold, sometimes hot.
To have done, what you did is not a crime
Life’s like that so very sublime.

Friendship and love are like two hands of a clock
Sometimes it’s the time itself they block
They may meet at one point and depart at another
The fact that they stay connected is really what matters.

So just go with the flow, don’t really bother
Keep loving yourself and also each other
That’s all she said to me
Believe in GOD & the rest HE will see.

GOODNESS

It was raining heavily that night. Driving along the ghats, only one thought was on his mind: why, oh why did this happen to him? When everything seemed to be going right, he had lost his job. So what if he was earning a paltry Rs.4000 a month as a mechanic.
Here he was, driving home, where his wife would be waiting for him. At least for the time being she would be the sole earning member for the family. The financial situation in the house was not good. He needed to find a job, and fast.

It was pitch dark outside. Not a soul was to be seen. Rajiv looked at his watch: It was well past midnight. Taking one of the curves down the ghat, he noticed a light blinking at the side of the road, dimmed by the heavy rain. As he drove closer, he could see it was a car. He also saw a figure near it. As he drove past it, he noticed an old man under an umbrella, trembling slightly.

He was well-groomed; he surely looked like a saheb.

Rajiv knew something was wrong. He stopped the car, got out and started walking towards the man. The man had a strange kind of fear on his face. He was probably alarmed by the fact that somebody had actually stopped. "Hello. I am Rajiv. You seem to have a problem, sir", said Rajiv. The man did not reply. "You need not worry sir, I am here to help." The man's face showed some relief. "I’ve got a flat tyre, son." Without wasting any time Rajiv removed the jack from his car and got down to business. "So, what do you do Rajiv?" Rajiv smiled. "I am looking for a job, sir". The man did not probe further.
"What about you, sir? May I ask where you are going all alone?"
"Oh, my daughter is expecting. I was going to meet her."

After sometime, "There, that’s done."
"Thanks for stopping, son," said the man. "My pleasure, pop." Rajiv noticed the man reaching for his wallet. "Here, take this." Rajiv needed the money badly. It’s not often that a man offers a huge sum of money just for changing a tyre. This guy had to be filthy rich. "Don't know how long I would have had to wait here if you hadn’t come along. Consider this as a token of my appreciation."
Rajiv looked at the man and then the money, and then said, "Hey pop, helping you was my duty. I don't want the money. But, if you do want to thank me, then help the next person you come across who may be need. Do good to others and it comes back to you: that’s what I believe in." Saying this, Rajiv left.
The man just stood there thinking about what had happened as he saw Rajiv and his car disappear around the curve.

He started his own car. The rain seemed to have stopped. He was hungry now. He could see a hotel in the distance. "Just in time," he thought. He parked his car and went inside.
As he entered, he noticed something he had never seen before. There was a woman at the cash counter. Not only that, he could see ladies serving water as well as food. An all- woman hotel! Now that was a first. There were hardly six people including him. He found himself a nice cozy seat by the window. He had never felt so good. It was warm and comfortable here. He was looking at the menu when a voice asked, "What would you like to have, sir?" He looked up and saw a lady with pen and paper in her hand. He noticed that she was pregnant, seemed tired, yet had a warm smile. "Pakodas and tea, please." She went away to the kitchen.

After about five minutes, a plate of hot pakodas and steaming hot tea was on his table. While munching the pakodas, he asked her "You know, my daughter’s expecting too. She is in her seventh. What about you, my child?" "Eighth, sir," she replied. "Why are you working so late? You should stay at home and take rest, dear." She smiled and said," Well, I need the money for the baby, sir," and went to the next table to take the order.

He thought about his daughter and then he remembered what Rajiv had said earlier. "Anything else, sir?" the waitress’ voice interrupted his thoughts. "No, just get the bill." She came back with a bill of Rs.33. He gave her a Rs.50 note. She went to the cashier. The old man took the tissue, scribbled something on it and then left hurriedly. She came back to give the change only to find the tissue, and the old man gone. She picked it up. "My dear child, sometime back I was helped by a person. He did not accept any money. What he said was to help the next person I felt was in need. So, here is a small gift from me. Please do accept it, and remember do good to others, and the good comes back to you." Along with the tissue was a cheque for Rs.50,000.
She smiled, finding it hard to believe what had happened. After sometime she left for home.
Climbing onto the bed, she saw her husband lying with a worried look on his face. She kissed his forehead gently. "Everything is going to be alright, Rajiv."

That’s the way life is!

I woke up to the morning rain
Opened the window & saw her again.
She was looking just like an angel.
I fell in love with her yet again.

I wanted to tell her, to speak my heart out.
I was deciding whether to call her or whether to shout.
Not today I thought and I had to stop.
Will wait for the right time…..a moment to pop.

Months passed and even the years
I had still not become hers.
I had to tell her today no matter what
I went to her home without giving much thought.

“Why is there such a crowd outside”
I enquired with the man by the roadside.
“Its their daughter, she is no longer more
At night , it was her heart that tore”….

I felt my heart miss a beat
I sank down, fell to my feet
I cried and cried till my tear buds dried
“Why did u do this GOD”, I sighed.

Then I heard a voice from the heavens above
“It your own fault, you let the opportunity go.
I gave you a chance for your own benefit
Now it is me you blame for it.”

I argued back saying that isn’t so
How much I loved her…she had to know.
Maybe I couldn’t be hers, she couldn’t be mine
But she had to know ..then it would have been fine.

“She knew it”..he said.. “all time long”.
“It was to you only she wanted to belong.
She waited and waited just like you.
She loved you and thought of you too.

But I had to take her, she had to leave.
Don’t worry my child, its me you have to believe.

I gave you life, this one chance,
It was you who failed to enhance,
Never an opportunity you should miss
Coz…that’s the way life is.

the "Quarter-Life Crisis

It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now. You start realizing that people are selfish and that maybe true.
Those friends that you thought were so close to you aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean, or insincere but that they are as confused as you are.
You look at your job...and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing. Or maybe you are looking for a job and realize that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that really scares you.

Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't. One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure.

You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.

You get your heart broken easily and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you know that you aren't a badperson.

One-night-stands and random hookups start to look cheap. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision.

You worry about loans, money, and the future and making a life for yourself...and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender! What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.