HEART FELT: February 2008

"Meet me at Mac D, sharp 3:00 PM. I will come to pick you up", Rishabh spoke on the phone.
"Sure, See you there", she replied dropping the call.
"What a Sweet voice.", Rishabh thought and smiled.

Rishabh was just like any other guy. With good friends around him, friends who loved him, others whom he loved. He had always so much to do, but so little time. Just like others, he too had dreams. He too had hopes. Like many others, he too wanted to become something. But ended up becoming something else. Like many others, he too had loved and lost. There was so much to talk, so much to speak, so much to discuss, so much to share. But there was no one to share it with. There was a sense of emptiness in his life. He wondered why he was feeling that
emptiness but he could not help it. It was there. It was this emptiness that forced him to call her up.

The Mac D was crowded as expected on a Sunday evening. There was a shopping mall nearby and loads of people around. She felt a bit uneasy as always. She hated crowded places. But she had got used to this. She was waiting for Rishabh to show up, searching for a blue Pulsar to stop near her. Five min later, it came

"Mona?", the man behind the helmet asked.
"Yes......Rishabh?", she counter questioned.
"Wow, she is looking so pretty.", he thought.
"Hop on!!", he said as the car behind started honking.

She wondered what today had in store for her as they drove off.

The bike stopped at CCD. "Lets grab a bite, I am famished.", he said removing his helmet.
"Wow!!" was the word which came to her mind on seeing him.
"So tell me more about yourself Mona", he asked biting the sandwich.

"Well, what do you want to know." was the reply.
"Anything and Everything...Where were you born, where did you grow up...anything....I would love to know....you can start by telling me your real name.", he said winking.
"So you dont think Mona is my real name?", she enquired.
"Maybe, it is. But something inside me tells me its not. Moreover, more than half the people on the website post fake names. And a girl as sweet as you must be having a really sweet name...i feel....not something extravagant as MONA!!"
She blushed. "My name is Sanika", she replied.
"Thats good. See i was right. Cute name indeed", he said winking. She was blushing all the more.

No one had spoken to her like this before ever. She felt free. She felt good. She felt she could open up her book of life to a stranger.There was something in him, which made her feel so. She felt she could trust him. Reason? She was not aware. But his eyes....it had so much of honesty and care in them with a tinge of naughtiness. She felt safe. She read out the pages of her life to him. He was a patient listener.

"......Well, thats its about me. Well , there is one more thing actually. I normally dont tell it to anyone. When I go home at the end of the day, I light a lamp in front of God and ask him to forgive me for all the sins I have done in the day. You might find it funny. But I do it.", She said ending her book of life so far.

"No...No ..I dont find it funny. Infact I find it quite interesting. Am sure he must be forgiving you.", he replied. She smiled.

"Should I ask him about him?", she wondered."Should I ask him, why he chose me. Should I ask him why he needed me here. No, I better not. What do I care. Tomorrow we will be on separate paths. Maybe later. No, No, it would get personal. I should not get personal."
"Heyy..whats up...what r u thinking so much?", he asked."huhhhh...no no...nothing...", she replied gathering herself and sipping her coffee.

Minutes later, they were on the bike again.

"So, where are we going now." she asked.
"Well, its only 4:00pm. We got a long way to go. I was thinking of catching a movie. What say?". She was now really surprised. "OK", she said smiling.

"Wait here, Lemme see if I can get the tickets."he said assuringly. Rishabh went and stood in a line. She was admiring him from far away. "Is this guy really that good? Or is he faking it? What does he really want? Why is wasting so much time? Does he like me? Or he would have done
this with any other girl? But he is a very nice guy. Or he is pretending to be one? Oh cmon, Sanika...Dont think so much...Just enjoy the moment."

"Hey, got the tkts 4:30pm show. The Lake House.That was the only thing available. The reviews were good in the papers. Hope you have not seen it already."
"No I havent", she replied.
"Good..Good..Cmon it starts any time now.

Seated inside, Rishabh was on the end seat in the row, with no one next to him. People were walking next to him and finding their seats. The movie started. The lights went dim. Slowly, he moved his face closer to her. She noticed it, but kept on looking straight at the screen. Her heart had started beating faster now.
"This guy is just like the rest. For Gods sake, the movie has not yet started. How can anyone be so desparate. All men are dogs...#$$%^& ", she thought. He moved towards her ear. He could smell her hair. They smelt good. She smelt good. He slowly whispered."Lets exchange seats".
She was taken aback. "Whaaa...whhhy...huhhh"?
"I dont want you to sit next to him." he said pointing his fingers at the guy seated next to her."Come on...Get up". She did so. She was smiling now.
"Hmmm...jealous already?", she said adjusting herself in her seat.
"Naah..not jealous...just like that....now shut up and watch the movie...Dont ask too many questions", he replied.
She was smiling all the more. "So this guy is not that bad. He is different."

The movie was good. With Keanu Reaves and Sandra Bullock as the leads, the performance was without doubt, excellent. The story was quite good too. It was about love. It was about two very lonely people, meant for each other but separated by time!! They lived two years apart in the same lake house. There was a mailbox through which they used to communicate.They say love dosent see age, love dosent see status ,love dosent have boundaries, but here they showed that love dosent even see time. It showed that sometimes waiting is the right thing to do.

Sanika felt so much connected to the movie. Even she was lonely. But unfortunately, love never came to her. She searched and searched, waited and waited, but it never came.
Was today the day, that wait was going to be over. Was Rishabh what she was searching for. Was Rishabh meant for her. Maybe no. Maybe Yes.

They came out. Rishabh was quiter. The naughtiness in his eyes seemed to have disappered somewhere in the dark cinema hall.There was a more serious look on his face. The movie seemed to have changed his mood.
"Come lets go", he said. Even his tone of voice had changed.
She followed, hopping on the bike again.

Minutes later, she felt the air suddenly getting a bit cooler. She noticed that the sea was nearby. They found a place to sit down. The sun was setting. The gentle breeze blowing the hair.The cold moist air on the face. The scent of freshly wet sand. The birds heading home. A ship on the horizon. It was fantastic. It was romantic.

But Rishabh was quiet.

"Should I ask him?, she thought. But before she could think further, he spoke out.
"Sanika, you have told everything about yourself to me. But you didnt ask about me", he asked. She was quite. He went on.
"You know what, I am a very lonely guy. Not that I have no one in the world or something. Ofcourse, I got friends and people around me. And when I am with them, I really enjoy sometimes. But there are times, when I feel alone even when a crowd is there. I got parents siblings who love me. I got a good job, make lots of money, yet I am not happy. You know there is a difference between lonliess and being alone. Being alone can be anytime when you are alone. I mean its a state of being. Loneliness can be a state of mind. You can be alone yet cannot be lonely. With me however, its not like that. I am lonely, very lonely, even when I am alone and even when I am not alone."

He stopped and looked at her. She was gazing at him. He smiled.
" I am sorry" , he said. "Sorry to bore you".
"No No, its ok. Go on. I am listening.", she replied.
"I hoped you would. I needed someone to speak to. Someone to open up to. Someone to share what I feel, someone to feel what I am going through."

Sanika took his hand in hers, smiled and said, " Go On, I am listening."

Rishabh was happy and continued to read out his book of life to her. He told all about himself. What he did. His lost loves. His old girlfriends who had married off to someone else. His dreams.
What he wanted to become. And what he ended up becoming. "My heart, Sanika. It dosent beat for anyone now a days. It has suffered so much pain. It has shattered so many times. Its so broken that it cant break anymore. It dosent beat anymore....It dosent beat anymore...", he said wiping out the tear which had managed to escape the prison of his eyes.

She put her hand on his shoulders and said, "It will".

They were such different persons, yet they had so much in common in a way. They both were lonely. They both needed someone. Yet they could not think of being with each other. Atleast she could not. He had finished what he had to say. He felt good. He felt lighter. As if a huge boulder from his head had been removed. He felt happy that he had called her. He looked at her. The sun had set. The moon had come out. The moonlight falling on her face. She was looking all the more beautiful.

"You know what Sanika", he said. "You are a good girl. She smiled.
"You wanna come over to my place", he asked her.

So this was it, she felt. One moment he is a angel and the next he becomes a devil. But he was not wrong. She had to surrender herself to him. She had somehow started liking him. He was different from other guys she had ever met. There was something in him which was making her allow herself to fall for him.
"OK", she said hopping on the bike again.

Sanika had closed her eyes. So many thoughts were going on in her head. What she didnt know was that even more were going on in his head.

The bike had stopped. She opened her eyes. But where were they? Back at MacD. He had brought her back to the place he had picked her from.

"Rishabh?", she enquired. "You are a good girl Sanika.", he said reaching out to his wallet.
"Here is your money", he said.

She stared at him. There was silence between them. All the noise around seemed to have gone. All the people, all the cars seemed to have stopped. Time seemed to have stopped.

"Rishabh", she started. "My life was dark, very dark. So dark that sometimes I myself would be so lost in it. I was living for the sake of living. I had lost my identity in the crowd. I had not been treated with so much respect ever. I had completely lost hope that humanity existed, that love existed. But I was wrong. You proved me wrong. But today was one of the best days of my life. I cant take the money. I wont take the money. I am going to change. I will find new ways to earn money. Thank you for giving me my life back."

And she walked off. She caught the nearest auto. " One more thing.", she said entering.
"I wont be lighting a lamp in front of God today".

Rishabh stood there with the money still in his hands.
He heard a heart beat.
It was his.

HEART FELT

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

The Request...

Sunday, February 10, 2008

A Lamp and a Heart Beat...

Sunday, February 3, 2008

Pehli Nazar Me

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