Candle...unlit

"Ok see you at the church", Shaun said over the phone. Shirley hung the phone. She was excited. Today was going to be the day. A day she would like to remember.

She knew Shaun for sometime now. They had first met at the church. Sunday Mass. He was kneeling down in the same row as hers, next to his mother. She noticed him because even after kneeling down, he looked so tall. It was love at first sight for her. She noticed him every Sunday. As luck would have it, their moms started talking and inturn... them. "Thank you Christ", she had said for letting us know each other.

They soon became very good friends. But she had already given her heart to him the first day. She loved him. She had never told him. She thought he loved her too. 'But with guys you can never be sure', she used to think. She used to get so jealous when she found him staring at other girls. That jealousy used to turn to anger when he spoke with them. She used to tell him that she didnt like it. But he used to laugh it off.

Here she was now, standing outside the church, recollecting all the days she had spent with him, going to do something she had never done before. She noticed him, he was standing on the opposite site of the road, buying a candle. He looked as good as ever. He waved to her with a smile crossing the road."I will light an extra candle if he says YES today", she thought.

"Hey, Good morning", he said coming closer. "Someones looking fresh", he said winking. "I am always fresh, But you are the one who is smelling good for a change" , she replied smiling. "By the way, there is something I..... ", "Come lets go inside", he interupted her, laughing.
Inside the choir had already started. A while later, all were on their knees. She was beside him.



She looked at him, he had closed his eyes. "Cmon Shirley, this is it. This is the moment.", she thought to herself. Without thinking much, she moved closer to him, wanting to whisper something in his ears. "I love you", she tried to whisper. But only her lips moved, no sound came out. She smiled and got back to normal position.

After the mass ended, just as they were about to leave, she pulled Shaun aside in the church corner and spoke."Shaun, I wanted to tell you something. Hope you dont get angry. I .. I ....", she stopped seeing Micheal who was coming towards them. Micheal, their common friend.
"Hi Shirley.", he said quickly moving his head towards Shaun. "Dude, coming to the ground for cricket, the whole gang is coming.", he said."Yaa....sure...just a second....will join you.", he replied turning towards Shirley again. Micheal left.

Shirley thought to herself. "Maybe I should tell him some other time". "No Shirley NO.....this is the time. You might never have as much courage as you have now. You have to say it NOW.

"Shirley....Shirley", Shaun said snapping his fingers in front of her face. "You were saying something." Without thinking much, Shirley spoke."Shaun, I wanted to tell this for a long time now. I love you. I cannot live without you.", she said in one go. Her hands were trembling. Her eyes were down. She looked up from what seemed like an eternity even though it was not even a second.Shaun was looking at her. His eyebrows had twichted. No reaction on his face. She repeated," Shaun I really love you. I am telling you this in the home of God. I know its not good to swear. But I swear on God, I cant live without you." This time she sounded more confident.

Shaun smiled. "You know something", he spoke. " You should have told me ....""HEY SHAUN. YOU COMING OR WHAT? " , Micheal shouted from the door.
"Gotta go now, meet me at 4 in the evening. Same place.", he shouted and ran out with Micheal, leaving Shirley perplexed.

"You should have told me ..."..what does he mean? Was it a wrong time to tell him? Was it the wrong place? Or was it the wrong thing? But there is no proper time, place where you can tell such a thing. I had to tell it now, or it could have been never. Does he love me too ? Did he not like me saying it? Damn that Micheal !! Damn the game of cricket!! Oh God,
what do I do now. Wait till 4 pm. what will he say then. Oh God , please help me through this. Let me light another candle."

Shaun was at the nearby bus stop now, just around the corner. Micheal was there and so were many of his friends. Everybody was talking about the match day before. The diving catch by Yuvraj, the sixer hit by Dhoni and how Gilchrist was clean bowled by R.P Singh. But Shaun was a non existent listener in the group. He was thinking about what Shirley had said. Her face was coming in front of his eyes. Her eyes that spoke so much. The slight dimple on her cheek. That lovely smile. That ...
"What are you staring at the road and smiling, dude....the bus is here.", Micheal interupted yet again. The bus came, the bus stopped. Micheal was the first to hop in followed by the rest of the crowd. It was Shaun's turn next. He put one foot on the steps of the bus. The conductor
shouted, "Fast fast" ...

"I cant wait till 4. Let me settle this matter right away. Cricket can wait." he stepped down, leaving Micheal shouting "Dude, What the ..." The bus zoomed away.

Shaun began to walk back towards the church. It had started to drizzle now. "Maybe she is still there" . he thought. He came to his senses, when he heard some people running around the corner, towards the church. He overheard someone saying "Someones been hit........A car....A girl..."
Shaun's heartbeat stopped. He started running towards the church with a silent prayer in the head. The rains were getting heavier. He was totally drenched now. As he turned the corner, he saw a group of people surrounding someone.He saw a red car. As he came closer, he saw a body on the road. It was a girl for sure. He pushed people aside.

"Poor girl", someone said.

"Someone call the ambulance."

"Wait I will call the police"

"SO sad."

"She was going to the church with the candle."

Shaun moved closer. It was her. It was Shirley. She was bleeding from the head. She was soaked more in blood than the rain water. He went closer. There was a candle near her body.

"Dont go close to the body", someone shouted. "Let the police come."

Shaun didnt heed. He picked the candle and went on his knees near her. He put the candle in her hand. He was too shocked to cry. His heart had stopped beating. His lips were dry. He
picked her wet body up and hugged her. His eyes soon burst open. Tears were running down his cheeks with full flow.

"...I LOVE YOU TOO..." , he shouted at the top of his voice hugging her as tightly as he could. The sound of the ambulance echoing in the background.

=======================

"Wow, that was ....sad....touching", I said to Jobin as he was lighting the candle in the church.
"This is the very candle. Shirley's candle. Light it after I pass away", was what he had said to me", he continued. "He had kept it with him for these many years." Jobin had tears in his eyes.

"My grandfather used to always tell me. If you love someone, you say it right then and there. At that very moment you feel like saying it. That one chance you get can sometimes be the only because at times God can be cruel and not give you any another chance. Whatever you have to think, think NOW. Whatever you have to say, say NOW. Whatever you have to do , do NOW. If you love someone say it NOW. Dont worry about the outcome." Jobin continued.

"I will miss him", Jobin said wiping his tears. I put my hand on his shoulders. It had started to drizzle outside.