Over a cup of espresso...

"I am 29 and still single dude", Amod said to Nilesh sipping his espresso at the barista.
"So what.....you are not the first of your kind", Nilesh replied.
"Yes I know dude, but hey the number of "my kind" is very less. I know loads of other guys going out with more than one girl at a time. How do they manage to do that", Amod continued.
"Well, they are different.", Nilesh said.
"What do you mean different?, Amod sulked.
"Cmon dude, you can get any girl you want. Maybe you are just not trying hard enough. Or Maybe your timing is not right. When the right time comes, you will get her. Besides, its time you let your parents find a girl for you and you get married. That will solve all your problems". Nilesh concluded.
"No dude, you dont understand. I mean....I wish.....Ahhh forget it, you wont understand"., Amod sulked sipping his espresso again looking around the place. He spotted a couple enter the door.

"See...chk that girl out. Isnt she pretty? and look who she is with! ..Sheesh. That guy has a bloody beer belly hanging out.....Dont you think I and her would have made a better pair?, Amod tried again.
"Wellll.........Hmmm....yes", Nilesh replied after a long pause.

"See..See...thats my whole point. Why is that the cocky guy, sometimes who is least interested in the girl, is usually the one who get the girl? Why cant a nice guy like me get one?, Amod kept his point of argument. "I keep hearing the words "Amod...You're a really nice guy, but I only like you as a friend!" I mean, why do they ditch me, a guy, who would treat them like a princess and give them everything they want.........and go after someone who treats them like nothing special?", Amod had a crooked smile on his face now.
"Well...not all girls are like that Amod". Nilesh responded.
"Aha...not all, but most of them are...I know dude..I have faced it.", Amod was sulking again. "You know everthing right".

Nilesh thought enough was enough. Amod was not going to listen to him the easy way. So its better if he took the tough way out.

"Ok Dude, you want the answers. Honest answers." Nilesh replied.
"Yes..please", Amod said eagerly waiting to hear him speak.

"OK. Listen carefully now. You said you were "nice" isnt it?. Well, firstly "nice" equates with boring and predictable."
"Huh", Amod replied.

"Yes...Look up "nice" in the dictionary. You will find: pleasant; agreeable; satisfactory. In other words, average -- not exceptional, not exciting, and not sexy, Nilesh explained.
"uhh...Ok...Go on", Amod said.

"Well...I'll bet you've never heard a girl say she didn't want to date a guy because he was too confident, too passionate, or too exciting -- have you? But, I'll bet you have heard her say things like, "He's such a nice guy. He's so sweet and he's always there for me, but I only like him as a friend." Or, "He's such a good guy -- kind, thoughtful, generous, honest, loyal -- but there's no chemistry." Sadly, for you, you hear it all the time. The fact is, Mr. "Nice" Guy, you cannot bore a woman into feeling attracted to you or into wanting to date you.... and..... unfortunately that is exactly what you are trying to do. And it won't work." Amod said.

"So what do you want me to do. Become a casanova. Heart-breaker a.k.a Ranbir Kapoor in Bachna ae haseeno types!! Amod said. "Or do you want me to mistreat them or even ..."

"No, dude no, I am not saying that you mistreat them or disrespect them in any way. What I suggesting is that you value and respect yourself more!!" , Nilesh replied.
Amod gave a confused look.

"Well, let me explain. The problem is you, Mr.Nice guy..."
"STOP CALLING ME THAT ALL THE TIME", Amod shouted.

"Haha ..OK OK sorry. See, the fact is you care too much, too soon. You make the girls too important and too valuable and it shows in everything you say and do. You are too available, too eager to please, too accommodating, and give too much -- all without getting anything or wanting anything in return. By doing so, you have made yourself appear desperate!!....or... insecure, needy of the girl's attention, affection, and approval."

Amod listened now with eyes and mouth wide open. He took another sip of from his espresso, as if to get back into the concentration mode.

"You have stripped yourself of any value in her eyes. After all, if you are already doing and giving everything, without the girl doing or giving anything - why would she value you? She won't. What she is going to do is look for someone else, someone who she perceives as being more worthy, more confident, and more valuable." Amod still has his eyes and mouth wide open.

"Uhhh...dude when did you learn to speak like that? Anyways....continue....", Amod requested.

"Haha...OK..Ok...See it works like this: Once you need something, or you want it too badly, you forfeit your strength and lose all power of negotiation. You are in a position of weakness and you are perceived as weak. Someone (or something) else is in control of you, the situation, and it's outcome. Guys in this situation appear to be anything but confident, strong, and exciting. More, they are perceived as being unworthy and as lacking value.

"Hmm..." , Amod nodded.

"See buddy, it's human nature. Things that are easily acquired, obtained, or maintained, without any effort or sacrifice, lack value......The secret to why the cocky guy wins over the nice guy, is that he is perceived as being a stronger, more confident guy with more value. How? He never invests everything -- his entire being, ego, and self-worth in what one girl's response or reaction to him is. He doesn't gush with compliments; he isn't always available; he doesn't give too much; and he knows he isn't going to die if a woman says "no" to him. More, his attitude is, yeah, I'd like to go out with you, but if I can't, that's OK -- I'm a busy guy, with exciting things going on, and lots of other options."

"Well, what you said is really true. But dosent love hold any significance ?", Amod enquired.

"Love is just a 4 letter word. For some, it works. For some it dosent. For you it dosent. Love can be indecisive. But then, indecision is itself a decision in way. Its like a choice you make not to decide. So keep it that away. Be more cocky and you will get the girl you want. Love will happen later. Never force it to happen. Be strong. Be confident. Bring your attitude in the picture. Make them feel they need you rather than you need them. Simple. "Nilesh said concluding.

"Hmm, maybe you are right. I guess I need to be not so nice now.... Oh..my espresso is over. Shit!, It's time. Lets move. We are getting late." Amod said.

"OK . Mr. Not so "nice" guy" , replied Nilesh winking as they both left the place laughing.

The Silent Flute...

Jay woke up to a saturday morning with the phone ring. "Mr.Jay Dixit", said the voice on the phone as he answered it. "Speaking..", replied Jay in a sleepy tone.
"Hi, this is Mr. Mathur here. We met the other day. Just wanted to confirm your coming to Pune for the concert." , continued the voice. "Yes, definitely. I am really looking forward to it." , Jay replied suddenly waking up and filled with excitement. "Good, well see you tomorrow at the Natya Mandir", the voice replied hanging the phone.

An hour later, Jay was busy practising what he did best, playing the flute. Jay had never imagined he would be making the 'flute' his source of income and his way of life. But then he treaded a path, many others do not dare to - Making your dream your career. Jay had given up his well paying job in the bank to now struggle with something he loved to do. Having done that, he faced flak from all the people he loved. "Son, you are taking a huge gamble with life. From a settled banker to a struggling musician!! Well, all I can say is May Luck be with you, his dad had told him."
A small time musician he was now, but his popularity was ever increasing and the day would not be far when he would be popular throught India, or maybe the world. Pune was just a start.

The next day, Jay was in a volvo going to Pune. The low temperature inside the volvo always made him drowsy and having nothing better to do, he thought sleeping was the best thing to do. Minutes later, he woke up. Woke up to a smell, a scent he recognised. A scent from the past. He opened his eyes to find someone standing next to him. A saree clad female. He noticed she was married from her accesories and that big red dot smeared on her forehead.
"Excuse me, mine is the window seat", she said in a voice so familiar. Jay got up from his aisle seat, trying to be courteus, as she sat next to the window. A mutual quick glance again at each other and....
"JAY!!.....is it you?" ."Neha!!!.....Hi", replied Jay. "Hi..." replied Neha slowly, sending both of them into a silence. The suddent excitement of meeting each other was very quickly buried down by the memories from the past.

===================================
It was love at first sight for him when he first saw Neha in the bank. They soon became very good colleagues, then friends and later had started enjoying each other's company. Jay had once proposed to her. "You are a nice guy, Jay", she had replied."But I am not ready for a relationship yet. Not with you, not with anyone. Hope you understand. I have got a career ahead of me and moreover I also ....". Joe had not heard the remaining lines. The fact that he was rejected had hurt him so much. But yet he continued to be friends with her. Jay was not among those to give up easily, he kept on proposing to her in many different ways, at different times and reminding her that he was always there for her. She soon started falling for him, as she knew no one would ever love her as much as Jay did but she was still confused and scared to say YES, leaving Jay confused, on what her problem might be. Jay also had the ongoing confusion about his career and life ahead and Neha's behaviour was adding more to it. Years passed, Jay had soon started giving up hope and one day, he quit his job in frustration without informing her and disappeared from her life completely. It was then, that he made the decision to make a career out of his passion.
===================================

And now here he was sitting next to the woman he once loved, now having nothing to say.Jay had so many thoughts running through his head. So many questions to ask her. So many things to say. But he chose to keep mum.He had two options, either to let her know that he still loved her and thought about her. But it had not been of any use earlier and it would definitely be of no use now. He had noticed she was married. The other option was to pretend everything was good in his life and be at his witty best. He chose the latter.

"So....howz life?" , Neha broke the silence.
"Ya its good. I am going to perform in the concert tomorrow at the Natya Mandir"., Jay replied noticing some scars on her face and hands. She didnt have these, he thought'.
"Oh cool. Nice." she replied. "So got your career confusion solved in the end is it?" she gave a light smile.
"Hmmm...Yes. For the good, I guess. Now I want to be a world famous flute player. " Jay replied.
"Hmmmm..", Neha replied.
A minute later.
"You just disappeard without telling anyone in the bank.", Neha again broke the silence giving that smile.
"I didnt have many friends there", Jay replied now opening up a bit. She smiled again.
"You could have told me one last time. I was your friend." she replied.
"Friend...hmmm...yes...well...all I can say is Oops!! .....", Jay replied again noticing those scars as she smiled yet again."Anyways...howz your life been?", Jay continued.
"Well, my life has been good.. I got job in another bank now. I work and stay in Pune and every weekend go home to visit my parents in Mumbai." Neha replied.
"Hmm...good....So married or not or still waiting for me?", Jay asked blinking trying to act funny.
"Haha.... I got married last year. My parents ....arranged. He was an engineer working with General Motors", she replied calmly.A silent moment later as if thinking something in her head, she continued. "He loves me a lot".
"Well I bet, not more than me",Jay said blinking.
"Haha.....maybe.....he keeps me happy though."
"Not more than I would have", Joe smiled. She didnt reply. She just smiled.
"Hmmm..Maybe", she said softly.
Jay couldnt stop noticing the scars. His curiosity got the better of him.
"If you dont mind, can I ask you a question", Jay asked. "Sure Sure", she replied.
"How did you get those...", he said pointing towards her face and hands.
"Oh these.....I know....many people do ask me that time and again.
I had an accident a few months back......My scooty has got more scars than me.", she smiled.
"Hmmmmmm....well how many times I have told you not to drink and drive", Jay winked at her laughing.
"Hahaha......", she laughed. But Jay noticed the laugh was very different from her usual style to which he had got used to years back. Maybe he had forgotten how it was like.

The conversation continued. They talked about the colleauges in the bank, the times they spent, the movies they had watched, the outings, the fun they had, their friends, families, their future, about Jay's dream of becoming world famous one day. All spoken about with a pinch of humour.Time flew away so fast that Neha reached her destination.

"I have to get down here. Bye. May your dreams come true Jay. I will pray for you. Keep in touch. Take care of your self." Neha said hurrying down from the bus.
"You too", he shouted waving to her as the volvo drove away."Pray for me ...Thank you for that Neha...but How do I keep in touch with you ..... you didnt even give me your phone number", he murmured to himself.

Joe gathered himself now. He had lived the past all over again in those 3 hours. But now it was back to reality. He had an important concert the next day. Neha was his past. He loved her and still does, but she never loved him back and will never do. She is happily married now and moving on with her life. This was a reality and he had to accept it and move ahead in his life like he has always done.

Mr. Mathur had come to pick him up. "We have made your lodging arrangements Mr. Jay. You can relax and be fresh for the big day tomorrow.", he said dropping him off at the hotel lobby. The concert was a success. Not many people had turned up for the show, but the numbers were no doubt increasing. Maybe Neha's prayers are being heard but at a very slow pace, he thought.
The same night, Jay was as usual practising in his hotel room. Someone knocked calling his name. "Jay...jay...".He stopped playing his flute and opened the door to see Abhinav. His foul-mouthed friend from the bank.
"Hi Mann......how r you doing" , Jay asked.
"I am fine you bas***d , you are getting popular day by day. I saw your pic in the newspaper today. Came to know from that grumpy Mr. Mathur, that you are staying here. What yaar, you just left without telling anyone in the bank. And now you are leaving back again without even trying to get in touch with us.... you f***er, he continued.
"Its not like that Abhi,. Its just that I chose a new life for myself.", Jay replied.
"Oho....Mr. popular, trying to get used to the celebrity life eh....Stop giving bul***t reasons....There is only one life you have..The one you are living.....Ahhh anyways....how have u been...did you happen to meet with anyone else from the bank or am I the first..hehe.."., he continued.
"Yes, I happened to meet Neha in the bus yesterday", Jay replied not giving Abhi the credit of being the first," And apart from her...."
"Oho....Neha....your old item.!!", Abhinav interupted leaving Jay clenching his fists.
"But you know what Jay, I really feel sorry for her yaar", he continued. "She did not deserve this. You could have kept her more happy than that bloody husband of hers. If I had come to know about it earlier na, I swear I would have killed that bas***d. Ahhh Anyways you must be knowing everything about her right..." , Abhinav continued.
"What about her", Jay had a puzzled look on his face.
"You met her yesterday right. Didnt she tell you ?.......Ohhhh.....she did not tell you is it? " Abhinav was smurking.
"DID NOT TELL ME WHAT??" , Jay was getting angry now clinching the flute he was holding in his hands.
"Well, after you left the bank, a few months later, her parents got her married off to this engineer guy. At first he was good to her but later on the ba***d started showing his true colors. Fu***r was a hardcore alcoholic. Everynight he used to get drunk, come home and beat her up just for the heck of it. It seems that he was unhappy with the marriage and wanted to marry someone else he loved. Ahhh..dont know whats his side of the story. Neha had surrendered herself to her destiny and did not tell about this to anybody. Apparently, one day the ass got so drunk, he beat her up till she fell unconscious. Fearing she was dead, he drove off in his car and met with an accident. Good that he died on the spot. Ba***d. His soul must be burning in hell now. Poor Neha...she used to be so pretty and now she has to roam about with those scars. I cant understand why she still prefers to act as if she is a married woman. But now she stays alone, works alone here in Pune and goes home every weekend to meet her parents. Feel pity for her yaar...." , he stopped.
"I wonder why she did not tell you about this", he continued after a pause.
Jay was left speechless. He felt weak.
"I guess I know why", he replied.
The flute he was holding in his hands fell to the ground silent.



Neha opened the drawer of her cupboard and removed her diary. She began writing.

"Dear Dairy,
I met Jay yesterday after these many years. When he was with me in the bank, I was confused about his love for me, or rather my love for him. He loved me a lot. I guess I know about it and he does too. But as you know I was not very clear about the whole thing. The day I came to know he had left, I felt a strange kind of emptiness in my heart. The days following that the emptiness increased all the more. I had realised that I had already been in love with him. Its just that I didnt know about it. I guess if he had informed me that he would be leaving, I would have stopped him and accepted his proposal. He didnt leave me any hint to get to him, to reach him. My parents were worried and were pressurising me to get married. I had no other option but to give in to their demands. I thought maybe this was going to be a new start. A happy married life without Jay. I thought the emptiness Jay had left me with would be filled up with the love of my husband. Unfortunately, life had different plans for me. the rest you know. Maybe this is my punishment for rejecting the love which had come my way. The scars on my body will always remind me of the mistake I did. But its those scars deep inside my heart which will never be washed away. I guess Jay has moved on with his life. He seemed to be very happy in the bus. He had found his passion and had made it his life. I did not want to interfere with his dream and his goals again. That is why I had to hide the truth from him. I also did not give him my number or address yesterday for the same reason. You can understand me right. I hope he does too. Anyways, I beg you to pray with me... for him. May he get all the happiness in the world. And all the pain which I might have given him be washed away. Its getting late now. I have to sleep. May God bless me and May God bless Jay. Good night."

I will always be there.

When the times are hard, and the moments rough
When your strengths' all gone, and your life is tough.
When you feel very lonely, when you feel all low
When you want to smile, when you want to glow.
Just think of me, I will always be there.

When people you need are no more around
When friends you want are hard to be found.
When you feel hurt, when you feel very lost,
When you feel like crying, thinking of your past.
Just think of me, I will always be there.

When the whole world feels like a maze
When there is no where you can gaze
When you feel you are hounded by troubles,
When your heart seems to be bursting like bubbles,
Just think of me , I will always be there.

When the future seems no more bright,
When love seems to be out of your sight
When there is no pillow for you to shed that tear
I will make sure my shoulder would be somewhere near.
Just think if me, I will always be there.

Your are dear to me than the heaven above.
Give me one chance to prove my love,
Trust me on this, please dont go
Take my hand now, I will never let go.