Over a cup of espresso...

"I am 29 and still single dude", Amod said to Nilesh sipping his espresso at the barista.
"So what.....you are not the first of your kind", Nilesh replied.
"Yes I know dude, but hey the number of "my kind" is very less. I know loads of other guys going out with more than one girl at a time. How do they manage to do that", Amod continued.
"Well, they are different.", Nilesh said.
"What do you mean different?, Amod sulked.
"Cmon dude, you can get any girl you want. Maybe you are just not trying hard enough. Or Maybe your timing is not right. When the right time comes, you will get her. Besides, its time you let your parents find a girl for you and you get married. That will solve all your problems". Nilesh concluded.
"No dude, you dont understand. I mean....I wish.....Ahhh forget it, you wont understand"., Amod sulked sipping his espresso again looking around the place. He spotted a couple enter the door.

"See...chk that girl out. Isnt she pretty? and look who she is with! ..Sheesh. That guy has a bloody beer belly hanging out.....Dont you think I and her would have made a better pair?, Amod tried again.
"Wellll.........Hmmm....yes", Nilesh replied after a long pause.

"See..See...thats my whole point. Why is that the cocky guy, sometimes who is least interested in the girl, is usually the one who get the girl? Why cant a nice guy like me get one?, Amod kept his point of argument. "I keep hearing the words "Amod...You're a really nice guy, but I only like you as a friend!" I mean, why do they ditch me, a guy, who would treat them like a princess and give them everything they want.........and go after someone who treats them like nothing special?", Amod had a crooked smile on his face now.
"Well...not all girls are like that Amod". Nilesh responded.
"Aha...not all, but most of them are...I know dude..I have faced it.", Amod was sulking again. "You know everthing right".

Nilesh thought enough was enough. Amod was not going to listen to him the easy way. So its better if he took the tough way out.

"Ok Dude, you want the answers. Honest answers." Nilesh replied.
"Yes..please", Amod said eagerly waiting to hear him speak.

"OK. Listen carefully now. You said you were "nice" isnt it?. Well, firstly "nice" equates with boring and predictable."
"Huh", Amod replied.

"Yes...Look up "nice" in the dictionary. You will find: pleasant; agreeable; satisfactory. In other words, average -- not exceptional, not exciting, and not sexy, Nilesh explained.
"uhh...Ok...Go on", Amod said.

"Well...I'll bet you've never heard a girl say she didn't want to date a guy because he was too confident, too passionate, or too exciting -- have you? But, I'll bet you have heard her say things like, "He's such a nice guy. He's so sweet and he's always there for me, but I only like him as a friend." Or, "He's such a good guy -- kind, thoughtful, generous, honest, loyal -- but there's no chemistry." Sadly, for you, you hear it all the time. The fact is, Mr. "Nice" Guy, you cannot bore a woman into feeling attracted to you or into wanting to date you.... and..... unfortunately that is exactly what you are trying to do. And it won't work." Amod said.

"So what do you want me to do. Become a casanova. Heart-breaker a.k.a Ranbir Kapoor in Bachna ae haseeno types!! Amod said. "Or do you want me to mistreat them or even ..."

"No, dude no, I am not saying that you mistreat them or disrespect them in any way. What I suggesting is that you value and respect yourself more!!" , Nilesh replied.
Amod gave a confused look.

"Well, let me explain. The problem is you, Mr.Nice guy..."
"STOP CALLING ME THAT ALL THE TIME", Amod shouted.

"Haha ..OK OK sorry. See, the fact is you care too much, too soon. You make the girls too important and too valuable and it shows in everything you say and do. You are too available, too eager to please, too accommodating, and give too much -- all without getting anything or wanting anything in return. By doing so, you have made yourself appear desperate!!....or... insecure, needy of the girl's attention, affection, and approval."

Amod listened now with eyes and mouth wide open. He took another sip of from his espresso, as if to get back into the concentration mode.

"You have stripped yourself of any value in her eyes. After all, if you are already doing and giving everything, without the girl doing or giving anything - why would she value you? She won't. What she is going to do is look for someone else, someone who she perceives as being more worthy, more confident, and more valuable." Amod still has his eyes and mouth wide open.

"Uhhh...dude when did you learn to speak like that? Anyways....continue....", Amod requested.

"Haha...OK..Ok...See it works like this: Once you need something, or you want it too badly, you forfeit your strength and lose all power of negotiation. You are in a position of weakness and you are perceived as weak. Someone (or something) else is in control of you, the situation, and it's outcome. Guys in this situation appear to be anything but confident, strong, and exciting. More, they are perceived as being unworthy and as lacking value.

"Hmm..." , Amod nodded.

"See buddy, it's human nature. Things that are easily acquired, obtained, or maintained, without any effort or sacrifice, lack value......The secret to why the cocky guy wins over the nice guy, is that he is perceived as being a stronger, more confident guy with more value. How? He never invests everything -- his entire being, ego, and self-worth in what one girl's response or reaction to him is. He doesn't gush with compliments; he isn't always available; he doesn't give too much; and he knows he isn't going to die if a woman says "no" to him. More, his attitude is, yeah, I'd like to go out with you, but if I can't, that's OK -- I'm a busy guy, with exciting things going on, and lots of other options."

"Well, what you said is really true. But dosent love hold any significance ?", Amod enquired.

"Love is just a 4 letter word. For some, it works. For some it dosent. For you it dosent. Love can be indecisive. But then, indecision is itself a decision in way. Its like a choice you make not to decide. So keep it that away. Be more cocky and you will get the girl you want. Love will happen later. Never force it to happen. Be strong. Be confident. Bring your attitude in the picture. Make them feel they need you rather than you need them. Simple. "Nilesh said concluding.

"Hmm, maybe you are right. I guess I need to be not so nice now.... Oh..my espresso is over. Shit!, It's time. Lets move. We are getting late." Amod said.

"OK . Mr. Not so "nice" guy" , replied Nilesh winking as they both left the place laughing.