Wednesday, February 27, 2008

The Request...

My Dear heart,

There is something I must tell you
Hope you keep it between us, just me and you.
I know its going to be tough but I have to be bold.
There are lots of things to tell, so many more untold.

I know how much you love her, how much you have to say.
And how much you hope that she will be ours some fine day.
But day after day, night after night

My hopes fade away, but still I see her in ur sight.

While the wheels of my life keep on turning
The passion in you for her just keeps on burning
The life I have is so empty, so lonely.
But yet you keep thinking of her, thinking "if only-".

I cant stop you no matter how hard I try,
You dont seem to care for me, you dont see me cry.
But still I beg to you, dont ever say goodbye
You just live for her and slowly let me die.

I sometimes wonder, how much pain do you bear
You love her so so much, I would not dare
Can you do me a favor, can you help me out
Throughout my life, keep her in you, dont scream or shout.

Dont ever stop beating for her, even if I ask you to
If you stop beating for her, then stop beating for me too.



Sunday, February 10, 2008

A Lamp and a Heart Beat...

"Meet me at Mac D, sharp 3:00 PM. I will come to pick you up", Rishabh spoke on the phone.
"Sure, See you there", she replied dropping the call.
"What a Sweet voice.", Rishabh thought and smiled.

Rishabh was just like any other guy. With good friends around him, friends who loved him, others whom he loved. He had always so much to do, but so little time. Just like others, he too had dreams. He too had hopes. Like many others, he too wanted to become something. But ended up becoming something else. Like many others, he too had loved and lost. There was so much to talk, so much to speak, so much to discuss, so much to share. But there was no one to share it with. There was a sense of emptiness in his life. He wondered why he was feeling that
emptiness but he could not help it. It was there. It was this emptiness that forced him to call her up.


The Mac D was crowded as expected on a Sunday evening. There was a shopping mall nearby and loads of people around. She felt a bit uneasy as always. She hated crowded places. But she had got used to this. She was waiting for Rishabh to show up, searching for a blue Pulsar to stop near her. Five min later, it came

"Mona?", the man behind the helmet asked.
"Yes......Rishabh?", she counter questioned.
"Wow, she is looking so pretty.", he thought.
"Hop on!!", he said as the car behind started honking.


She wondered what today had in store for her as they drove off.

The bike stopped at CCD. "Lets grab a bite, I am famished.", he said removing his helmet.
"Wow!!" was the word which came to her mind on seeing him.
"So tell me more about yourself Mona", he asked biting the sandwich.




"Well, what do you want to know." was the reply.
"Anything and Everything...Where were you born, where did you grow up...anything....I would love to know....you can start by telling me your real name.", he said winking.
"So you dont think Mona is my real name?", she enquired.
"Maybe, it is. But something inside me tells me its not. Moreover, more than half the people on the website post fake names. And a girl as sweet as you must be having a really sweet name...i feel....not something extravagant as MONA!!"

She blushed. "My name is Sanika", she replied.
"Thats good. See i was right. Cute name indeed", he said winking. She was blushing all the more.

No one had spoken to her like this before ever. She felt free. She felt good. She felt she could open up her book of life to a stranger.There was something in him, which made her feel so. She felt she could trust him. Reason? She was not aware. But his eyes....it had so much of honesty and care in them with a tinge of naughtiness. She felt safe. She read out the pages of her life to him. He was a patient listener.

"......Well, thats its about me. Well , there is one more thing actually. I normally dont tell it to anyone. When I go home at the end of the day, I light a lamp in front of God and ask him to forgive me for all the sins I have done in the day. You might find it funny. But I do it.", She said ending her book of life so far.



"No...No ..I dont find it funny. Infact I find it quite interesting. Am sure he must be forgiving you.", he replied. She smiled.

"Should I ask him about him?", she wondered."Should I ask him, why he chose me. Should I ask him why he needed me here. No, I better not. What do I care. Tomorrow we will be on separate paths. Maybe later. No, No, it would get personal. I should not get personal."
"Heyy..whats up...what r u thinking so much?", he asked."huhhhh...no no...nothing...", she replied gathering herself and sipping her coffee.


Minutes later, they were on the bike again.

"So, where are we going now." she asked.
"Well, its only 4:00pm. We got a long way to go. I was thinking of catching a movie. What say?". She was now really surprised. "OK", she said smiling.

"Wait here, Lemme see if I can get the tickets."he said assuringly. Rishabh went and stood in a line. She was admiring him from far away. "Is this guy really that good? Or is he faking it? What does he really want? Why is wasting so much time? Does he like me? Or he would have done
this with any other girl? But he is a very nice guy. Or he is pretending to be one? Oh cmon, Sanika...Dont think so much...Just enjoy the moment."


"Hey, got the tkts 4:30pm show. The Lake House.That was the only thing available. The reviews were good in the papers. Hope you have not seen it already."
"No I havent", she replied.
"Good..Good..Cmon it starts any time now.

Seated inside, Rishabh was on the end seat in the row, with no one next to him. People were walking next to him and finding their seats. The movie started. The lights went dim. Slowly, he moved his face closer to her. She noticed it, but kept on looking straight at the screen. Her heart had started beating faster now.
"This guy is just like the rest. For Gods sake, the movie has not yet started. How can anyone be so desparate. All men are dogs...#$$%^& ", she thought. He moved towards her ear. He could smell her hair. They smelt good. She smelt good. He slowly whispered."Lets exchange seats".
She was taken aback. "Whaaa...whhhy...huhhh"?
"I dont want you to sit next to him." he said pointing his fingers at the guy seated next to her."Come on...Get up". She did so. She was smiling now.
"Hmmm...jealous already?", she said adjusting herself in her seat.

"Naah..not jealous...just like that....now shut up and watch the movie...Dont ask too many questions", he replied.
She was smiling all the more. "So this guy is not that bad. He is different."


The movie was good. With Keanu Reaves and Sandra Bullock as the leads, the performance was without doubt, excellent. The story was quite good too. It was about love. It was about two very lonely people, meant for each other but separated by time!! They lived two years apart in the same lake house. There was a mailbox through which they used to communicate.They say love dosent see age, love dosent see status ,love dosent have boundaries, but here they showed that love dosent even see time. It showed that sometimes waiting is the right thing to do.

Sanika felt so much connected to the movie. Even she was lonely. But unfortunately, love never came to her. She searched and searched, waited and waited, but it never came.

Was today the day, that wait was going to be over. Was Rishabh what she was searching for. Was Rishabh meant for her. Maybe no. Maybe Yes.

They came out. Rishabh was quiter. The naughtiness in his eyes seemed to have disappered somewhere in the dark cinema hall.There was a more serious look on his face. The movie seemed to have changed his mood.
"Come lets go", he said. Even his tone of voice had changed.
She followed, hopping on the bike again.

Minutes later, she felt the air suddenly getting a bit cooler. She noticed that the sea was nearby. They found a place to sit down. The sun was setting. The gentle breeze blowing the hair.The cold moist air on the face. The scent of freshly wet sand. The birds heading home. A ship on the horizon. It was fantastic. It was romantic.



But Rishabh was quiet.

"Should I ask him?, she thought. But before she could think further, he spoke out.
"Sanika, you have told everything about yourself to me. But you didnt ask about me", he asked. She was quite. He went on.
"You know what, I am a very lonely guy. Not that I have no one in the world or something. Ofcourse, I got friends and people around me. And when I am with them, I really enjoy sometimes. But there are times, when I feel alone even when a crowd is there. I got parents siblings who love me. I got a good job, make lots of money, yet I am not happy. You know there is a difference between lonliess and being alone. Being alone can be anytime when you are alone. I mean its a state of being. Loneliness can be a state of mind. You can be alone yet cannot be lonely. With me however, its not like that. I am lonely, very lonely, even when I am alone and even when I am not alone."


He stopped and looked at her. She was gazing at him. He smiled.
" I am sorry" , he said. "Sorry to bore you".
"No No, its ok. Go on. I am listening.", she replied.

"I hoped you would. I needed someone to speak to. Someone to open up to. Someone to share what I feel, someone to feel what I am going through."

Sanika took his hand in hers, smiled and said, " Go On, I am listening."

Rishabh was happy and continued to read out his book of life to her. He told all about himself. What he did. His lost loves. His old girlfriends who had married off to someone else. His dreams.
What he wanted to become. And what he ended up becoming. "My heart, Sanika. It dosent beat for anyone now a days. It has suffered so much pain. It has shattered so many times. Its so broken that it cant break anymore. It dosent beat anymore....It dosent beat anymore...", he said wiping out the tear which had managed to escape the prison of his eyes.


She put her hand on his shoulders and said, "It will".

They were such different persons, yet they had so much in common in a way. They both were lonely. They both needed someone. Yet they could not think of being with each other. Atleast she could not. He had finished what he had to say. He felt good. He felt lighter. As if a huge boulder from his head had been removed. He felt happy that he had called her. He looked at her. The sun had set. The moon had come out. The moonlight falling on her face. She was looking all the more beautiful.

"You know what Sanika", he said. "You are a good girl. She smiled.
"You wanna come over to my place", he asked her.


So this was it, she felt. One moment he is a angel and the next he becomes a devil. But he was not wrong. She had to surrender herself to him. She had somehow started liking him. He was different from other guys she had ever met. There was something in him which was making her allow herself to fall for him.
"OK", she said hopping on the bike again.


Sanika had closed her eyes. So many thoughts were going on in her head. What she didnt know was that even more were going on in his head.

The bike had stopped. She opened her eyes. But where were they? Back at MacD. He had brought her back to the place he had picked her from.

"Rishabh?", she enquired. "You are a good girl Sanika.", he said reaching out to his wallet.
"Here is your money", he said.

She stared at him. There was silence between them. All the noise around seemed to have gone. All the people, all the cars seemed to have stopped. Time seemed to have stopped.

"Rishabh", she started. "My life was dark, very dark. So dark that sometimes I myself would be so lost in it. I was living for the sake of living. I had lost my identity in the crowd. I had not been treated with so much respect ever. I had completely lost hope that humanity existed, that love existed. But I was wrong. You proved me wrong. But today was one of the best days of my life. I cant take the money. I wont take the money. I am going to change. I will find new ways to earn money. Thank you for giving me my life back."

And she walked off. She caught the nearest auto. " One more thing.", she said entering.
"I wont be lighting a lamp in front of God today".

Rishabh stood there with the money still in his hands.
He heard a heart beat.
It was his.



Sunday, February 3, 2008

Pehli Nazar Me

Another of my current favourite song. Atif Aslam at his best. At first I didnt find it that great, but the more I listened to it, the more it grew on me... Do chk it out.

URL : http://www.dhingana.com/album/hindi/latest/race-disk-1/2899





==============================

pehli nazar me kaisa jadoo kar diya
tera ban baitha he mera jiya.
jane kya hoga ...kya hoga... kya pata
is pal ko milke aa jile zara

me hu yahan...tu he yahan
meri baaho me aa...aabhi jaaa
oh jaane jaaa...dono jahan.....meri baho me aa...bhul jaaa
oh jaane jaaa...dono jahan.....meri baho me aa..bhul jaaa

baby i love you....baby i love you....baby i love you....baby i love you....sooo
baby i love you....oh i love you.....i love you...i love you soo...baby i love you....

-----


har dua me shaamil tera pyaar he
bin tere lamha bhi dushwaar he...
dhadhkon ko tujhse hi darkaar he
tujhse he raahate...tujhse he chahate

tu jo mili...ek din mujhe...
me kahin ho gaya... laapata
oh jaane jaaa...dono jahan.....meri baho me aa..bhul jaaa
oh jaane jaaa...dono jahan.....meri baho me aa..bhul jaaa

-----

kar diya diwana dard-e-khaas ne
chain chhina ishq k ehsaas ne
bekhayali di he teri pyaas ne
chhaya suroor he...kuch to zaroor he...

yeh dooriyaan...jine na de...
haal mera tujhe... na pataa
oh jaane jaaa..dono jahan.....meri baho me aa...bhul jaaa
oh jaane jaaa..dono jahan.....meri baho me aa..bhul jaaa

baby i love you....baby i love you....baby i love you....baby i love you....sooo
baby i love you....ooh i love you....baby i love you....

i love youuuu...

Monday, January 28, 2008

A part of me is gone . . .

It was a beautiful night,
All the stars were in sight.
The moon was there too, a king on a throne,
Truly majestic, yet it so very alone.
The gentle breeze blowing through my hair.
All I could do was just stop and stare
at the beauty of your face,
Knowing I've left all time and space.
You looked at me for just that little while,
On my face it left a permanent smile.

Then something came over me,
A feeling of death, a parting of the sea.
Somehow I knew the journey was over,
The love is lost, just left to hover.
The destiny has finally run out,
My soul, it does scream and shout.
I've lost a even a friend on this date.
Paralyzed by lost love, now it's too late.

Have I done anything to make you flee.
Or are you done making use of me.
Should I have taken a stand.
This is something I truly don't understand.
Was I just a card for you to hold and win,
Or did you actually care deep within.
You've silently requested time apart,
To leave me with pieces of a broken heart.



Have you forgotten how to care,
To tell me you'll always be there
Now I do nothing but shun my feelings,
Letting my life just keep on wheeling.
I feel a part of me is gone,
I feel like the moon, so very alone.
Should I ever return to you in greed,
Will there ever be a time, when its me you would really need.


Do you have the answers to my questions,
Or should I leave and learn my lesson
I think I deserve better than this,
Eventhough it would be you, I'll always miss

I will always miss....
I will always miss....

Friday, January 25, 2008

JASHN - E - BAHARA

My current Fav song.. very rhythmic, very solemnic, lovely lyrics.....calm. nice and slow just as I love it...




(kehne ko jashn e bahara he
ishq yeh dekh k hairaan he) x2
ful se khushboo khafa khafa he gulshan me
chupa he koi ranz fiza ki chilman me
saare sehme nazare he
soye soye waqt k dhaare he
aur dil me koi khoi si baate he
CH:
kehne ko jashn e bahara he
ishq yeh dekh k hairaan he
ful se khushboo khafa khafa he gulshan me
chupa he koi ranz fiza ki chilman me

kaise kahe kya he sitam
sochte he ab yeh hum
koi kaise kahe woh he ya nahi hamare
karte to he saath safar
faasle he fir bhi magar
jaise milte nahi kisi dariyaan ke do kinare
paas he fir bhi paas nahi
humko yeh ghum raas nahi
sheeshe ki ek diwaar he jaise darmiyaan
saare sehme nazare he
soye soye waqt k dhaare he
aur dil me koi khoi si baate he

Humne jo tha nagma suna
dil ne tha usko chuna
yeh daastan hume waqt ne kaisi sunai
hum jo agar he ghumgeen
woh bhi udhar khush to nahi
mulakato me he jaise ghul si gayee tanhayee
mil ke bhi hum milte nahi
khilke bhi gul khilte nahi
aankho me he bahare dil me khizaa
saare sehme nazare he
soye soye waqt k dhaare he
aur dil me koi khoi si baate he
kehne ko jashn e bahara he
ishq yeh dekh k hairaan he
ful se khushboo khafa khafa he gulshan me
chupa he koi ranz fiza ki chilman me



URL : http://www.dhingana.com/

Thursday, January 17, 2008

TRULY MADLY DEEPLY...

I'll be your dream
I'll be your wish
I'll be your fantasy.
I'll be your hope
I'll be your love
Be everything that you need.
I love you more with every breath
Truly madly deeply do..
I will be strong
I will be faithful
'Cos I'm counting on a new beginning.
A reason for living.
A deeper meaning.

Chorus:
I want to stand with you on a mountain.
I want to bathe with you in the sea.
I want to lay like this forever.
Until the sky falls down on me...


And when the stars are shining brightly

In the velvet sky,
I'll make a wish

Send it to heaven
Then make you want to cry..

The tears of joy
For all the pleasure and the certainty.
That we're surrounded

By the comfort and protection of..
The highest power.
In lonely hours.

The tears devour you..

I want to stand with you on a mountain,
I want to bathe with you in the sea.
I want to lay like this forever,
Until the sky falls down on me...

Oh can't you see it baby?
You don't have to close your eyes
'Cos it's standing right before you.
All that you need will surely come...

I'll be your dream
I'll be your wish
I'll be your fantasy.
I'll be your hope
I'll be your love
Be everything that you need.
I'll love you more with every breath
Truly madly deeply do...





Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Where is my ring?

Aditya was nervous. "Hope everything goes as planned", he thought.
"Dont worry Sir. We have done this before", the manager of the hotel replied calmly.
"Oh Good. But there is this one thing I would like you to.......".
Aditya stopped seeing the door opening.
"Oh God, she is here!!!", Aditya rushed to his table.
"Positions...Take your positions", the manager ordered to the waiters.

Sakshi walked in. Aditya was awestruck. The breeze started blowing her hair. The waiters started playing violins. The hotel lights swtiched off, except one which was focussed on her. She was looking so lovely in the red evening gown she was wearing. Her eyes were searching for Aditya. Once they found him, the lips parted ways and that 'to-die-for' smile was full on display.
Aditya went "Haaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiii" in his mind.

"Hi!!" she said with the smile still on. Aditya gathered all his scattered senses and got up,"Hi". He went and pulled her chair back.
"Thanks for coming. Please sit down mudaaaaam ". She sat down giggling. Aditya signalled to the managers before taking his own seat. He looked up at her. She was looking even more lovely with the candle lights falling on her. Infact the candles were looking more lovely because of her. He was in his own thoughts.

"I love candle-light dinners", Sakshi said adjusting her gown.
"Yes, I know", Aditya gave a quick-blunt-silent reply ( almost a whisper ) looking in her eyes.
"Excuse me", she replied not able to hear what was being said.
"Uhhh...I mean, Oh is it?...Wow... me too. I mean even I luuuvvvee candle-light dinners too. Infact I love candle light breakfasts and lunches too", he replied in a fidgety manner.
"What?", she giggled again.
He blinked at her and joined in with a fake giggle, thinking, "Oh @#$%, kya bol raha he....control Aditya ...control...PJ mat maar."

"Good evening Sir. Good evening Madam. Here is our menu for tonight. I recommend you should try our Schezwan Cabbage Rolls.", the waiter said handing over the menu cards.
"Schezwan Cabbage Rolls...what the hell were that!!", Aditya wondered.
"Thank You Mark". Aditya replied.
"You know their names?", Sakshi enquired after the waiter left.
"Uhhgg...Yes..some of them. So how was your day today.", Aditya asked avoiding her further probing.
"Well...not too great. We had a ............." Sakshi went about telling the details of every little thing that happened with her. Aditya was only too happy to let her speak. This gave him a chance to stare at her non stop without her doubting. He cursed the waiter who butted in between to ask for the orders. But then again it was back to hearing her voice.
The food came, they ate. She kept on talking. He kept on listening. She was generally a very quiet person, but with people she knew, she could not stop exercising her mouth. Anyways, Aditya didnt mind. Time passed by in a jiffy.



Aditya looked at his watch. It was about time. He signalled the waiter who came up with a bottle of red wine. He had it poured in two glasses.

"Cheers", they said slowly sipping the drink.
After a few minutes, Aditya was looking at her, waiting for her to say something, waiting for her to react. But nothing was happening. Her drink was getting over. But she was not reacting. The waiter standing at a little distance was also surprised as to why she was not reacting.
"I guess I can have one more glass.", she said blinking at Aditya. Aditya was perplexed. He called the waiter who filled the glass again for her.

"Whatever happened to the ring", he thought. " Oh No!! Had she swallowed it?? ...NO she possibly cant. She would have realised. Had the waiters stolen it?..NO they couldnt, they were already paid for this. They could be trusted. Well then what happend to it. It cant just disappear in thin air or a hard drink."
"Excuse me Sakshi, will be right back", he said hurrying off to the loo, signalling the manager and waiter to join in.
"Where the #$%^ is the ring?", he thundered. " My whole plan is screwed up. A chance like this wont come again soon."
"Sir, we really dont know where it is. I had put it in the glass and poured the wine over it as u had ordered.", Mark said timidly.
"Sir, I dont suppose the lady would have swallowed the....", the manager said calmly."I hope not", said Aditya dejected. "Aaahhhgg....forget it now ...when she leaves....you guys are going to help me find the ring and if you dont find it, you will have to pay for it." Aditya was furious now.
He had waited so long for this moment. He knew that Sakshi too loved him. It was just the proposal to be made and then it was going to be Happiees Endingss for them. But now a chance like this was never going to come again and if it did, it would not have the same effect, the same punch.
"Bring the bill in 5min after I sit down.", Aditya said leaving.
"Are you OK Adi? You look tensed", Sakshi asked as he settled down.
"No No, everything is juuuusst fine", Aditya said sipping his wine in one gulp.Sakshi was still looking at him.
Aditya was puzzled. There was something in his mouth. It was hard. It had come along with what he had just drank.
"Oh NO!!, the ring!!....The damned waiter exchanged the glasses. And now its in my mouth. Holy Cow....", he thought.
"Guess its getting late, we better leave", Sakshi said picking her purse.
"YESSHHHH...AAI SSSHINK VEE SSSHHHUUUD", Aditya replied.
Sakshi looked back at him, with amazement.
"Should I remove it now. NO ..i better not in front of her. Mann it would look cheap...", Aditya thought.
"By the way Adi, did i tell you that you are looking very handsome today with the tuxedo on", Sakshi commented.
"Hmmm.." he replied. " ZZZAAANK UUUU".
"Now why are you putting up a french accent Adi? But you know what U look cute when you speak like that".
"Ya right", Aditya thought."Try speaking with the ring in your mouth for the entire life. But for you my love, I wouldnt mind it."
"Hmmm..", he replied again adjusting the ring inside his mouth.
As she turned around to leave, he quickly removed the ring and put it in his pocket.

Outside the hotel, he wondered, "should he propose to her now?...Yes...the timing is superb....No...it wouldnt be that romantic. Maybe he should just go down on his knees, and ask for her hand..that would be super-romantic.....but on the footpath!!...NO that would not be a good place....Sheeeesh...Plan screwed up. Dont know when will i get a chance like this again. Damn the waiters, damn the hotel, damn the manager, damn the wine glass, damn my luck...".

"What are you thinking so much Adi?" , she enquired.
"Me..no nothing. uhh...Should I drop you home?", he asked.
"NO yaar, its ok. I can manage.", she replied.
She sat in the cab.
"Chalo bye. Thanks for the everything. It was a lovely evening. I had a nice time. Give me a ring later. Good night.", she said.
Aditya looked up. "Did she know?...No.. No..No Adi...She meant a phone call".
"Yes sure, Will give you a ring later.", he reiterated the statement stressing on the word 'ring', thinking, " Hope that "later" comes "sooner"!!"
The cab left.
Aditya rushed back to the hotel. "Where is Mark?", he thundered. Mark was taken aback.
"Dude....you put the wrong glass in front of her!!". Then he turned towards the manager and said," You were right about the swallowing part. Except it would have been me who would have swallowed it.", he said removing the ring from the pocket.
"This ring meant so much to me", he said lifting it in front of the managers face." And you have screwed everything BIG TIME. Now since my plans has been spoilt, I need my refund for the....". He stopped.

He looked at the thing he was holding in his hand. It was a ring for sure. But it was not his. It was not the one he had bought for her.
His cell rang. "Sakshi calling..."
"Hello", he picked up.
"Give me a ring later", she said giggling. The waiters too were smiling now.
Slowly Aditya realised what had happened.
"I love you Adi. Would you like to...." , Sakshi asked.
Aditya was short of words. He didnt know what to say."Yes" ...he interupted smiling. Sakshi was smiling at the other end of the line too.
"Well, where is a ring for me then", Sakshi said. Her voice was so clear as if it came from somewhere nearby. He turned and found her standing right behind him.
He was too shocked to say anything. Do anything. Think anything.
Mark came up to him, removed a ring from his pocket and said,"Sir, here is your ring. We are sorry sir, but madaaaam paid us more to do this.", he said smiling.
They slipped the rings into each others fingers and the kiss came without a second thought.
The breeze was blowing, the violins were playing, all the lights were off, except a light blue one focussed on them.
Happieesss Endingss.....