Sleeping With The Light On

Here's a song by the band BUSTED. ---> Sleeping with the lights on.

The vdo aint that gr8.....but the lyrics are good...in parts....

And the timing, the date couldnt have been more perfect !!

====================================

Along she came, with her picture,

Put it in a frame, so I won't miss her,

Got on a plane, from London; Heathrow,

It seems such a shame, yea..

[Chorus:]

I feel her. Slipping through my fingers,<

Now she's gone, I'm sleeping with the light on,

And shocks went through my veins now, that she's gone,

I'm sleeping with the light on

Heard she's engaged, spoke to her best friend,<

No ones to blame, here's where it all ends,<

And I feel the pain, 'cause I'm without her,<

I feel the pain.<

I see the sight, with a different light,

Words cannot describe the way I'm feeling,<

'Cause I've been searching in my head,

For the words I thought she'd said,

For too long.

URL :
http://www.dailymotion.com/relevance/search/sleeping+with+the+lights+on/video/x2v4p1_busted-sleeping-with-the-light-on_music

I cant seem to find the switch to turn of the lights !!

I really do....

"Rajiv ....Dinner's ready!!", Mrs. Mane shouted from the dining room.
"Rajiv.....RAJIV....", she repeated a few moments later. Not getting any response from her son, he strolled towards the study.

"Raaaaaajiv !!! ....OH MY GOD.....RAAAJ.. ", she shouted as she saw her son on the floor...still. Minutes later at the hospital.

"What is it doctor?", Mrs. Mane asked with a worried look.

"Mrs. Mane. I......I am really sorry to say this. But we couldnt save him."
Mrs. Mane fell back as if all the energy in her body was sucked out. Her hands covered her face the next moment. "NO...NO...this cant happen", she cried. "I ...He......", and she just cudnt stop the tears from escaping the clutches of her eyes. But she as a strong woman. She collected herself a few moments later.

Seeing that the doctor continued. "Your son......had got tumour....brain tumour...", replied the doc. "It was severe, I am surprised that the first attack itself was life- tak... ". the doctor stopped seeing Mrs. Mane cover her face again.

A day later.

Mrs. Mane, went towards the desk where she last saw Rajiv. The desk was neat. He liked it that way. A few sheets were right in the centre below the paper weight. She went ahead and picked them up. She read.

A few moments later, Mrs. Mane had tears in her eyes. The last page.

She could see that the pen had dragged away towards the end. This was the moment when he had passed away. Probably he wanted to say so much more. She knew about him and Radhika. She knew that he loved her. She knew that this letter had to be delivered to her at all cost.

Later in the evening, she was at Radhika's door.

"Mom, you see that house over there. Thats where she stays." Rajiv has showed her once, when they were passing that area. His words echoed in her head as she rang the bell.
"Hi Radhika ??, she enquired.

"Yes"., the girl replied.

"I am Rajiv's mother. Rajiv died yesterday. He left you this. Please read it.", so saying she handed the letter to her and turned away crying.
Before Radikha could gather her senses and realise what she had heard, what had just happened, Mrs Mane had gone far away, disappearing behind the corner. When she recollected what she had heard, she was shocked herself. She closed the door and went inside, glancing at the paper in her hand. It was Rajiv's handwriting. She recognised it. She began to read.
====================================

Dear Radhika,

I picked up the phone today yet again, but i just couldnt dial your number. I do not know why but all my strength seems to just vanish in thin air whenever I try to do this. Dont think that I am low on self confidence or something. NO. That is not the point. Its just that sometimes, its so hard to speak to someone, to tell someone how much someone keeps thinking about the person. Sometimes its just so hard to say it in words. But its easier to write them down I think. And you must be knowing that I have always been a better writer than an orator. Hence, this paper you are holding in your hand. I hope it reaches you somehow.

I love you. I really do. I ..I.....I know I may sound desparate, trying to tell you again and again how much I ....you know...but the fact is no matter how much I try to avoid doing it I end up doing it. I know what you feel about me and I know that is never going to change. Yet for some reason I just cant stop thinking about you. I think of you in the day and I think of you in the night. I really do, I am not saying this just to sound poetic, its a fact. No matter how much I say to myself to stop thinking about you, I end up thinking about you more and more in the process of trying to forget you. Funny thing!! I sometimes think, that I should move on with life. Forget you once and for all. But whenever I see your picture or whenever I see you in front of me, I tend to go into a different mode all together. I like to be alone, thinking of you. Just me and you. And i dream. And I imagine. And i sulk in between. Shed a tear or two. And I smile again. And then i laugh thinking of what I am doing. Its very wierd you see. I know you wont be able to understand this. And do not think that I am making any effort to make you do so too. Its just that the heart is so so full. It has to leak somehow, somewhere.

I love you. I really do. I know you already know this. But I am saying it again and again , hoping that one day i get to hear a " i love you too". But I know that day would never come but yet I think, it just may.

I went to the shore again today. I know how much you love the sea. I do too. But here I walk alone, thinking of you. I sit alone, thinking of you. And I wish that I was never alone.I wish you were there with me. We could just walk for hours together holding hands, with nothing on our minds, not a word said, but yet so much spoken. Just you and me and the sea. I know this is never going to happen, but yet I imagine someday it just may. I am bored of shedding tears nowadays. But the heart keeps pushing them out. Cant stop them either. SO i let them flow. I keep fighting with myself. One part says to forget you. Other says dont let go. Fortunately or Unfortunately, there is no clear winner. Its always a tie between them. So I let it be. Let life go on as it is.

I love you. I really do. Wish you could understand. I cant force you. I know. But Wish you could understand.

You know something....I have been getting headaches lately. Dunno what the reason is. NO...Dont worry . Its not because of thinking of you too much. Dunno ...just natural i guess. As i write this, my head has already started paining. You know what I am seeing at the moment. A vision. A vision of you. Smiling. At me? I am not sure. But you are smiling.And you are looking very very beautiful. Like you always do. And will always do. I know it. I see the sea. The breeze is blowing gently. The smell is intoxicating, fresh neverthless. There is no one around. I see myself. I see a small hill. I am walking. Walking towards it ...walking alone..Oh!. I am alone yet again...as usual....Where are you?.... Why cant I see you?....Maybe you are behind the hill. Waiting for me. Are you? I hope you are. I am coming. Please dont go. Please wait. For me. Because you know it and I know you know it too, that I love you. The vision is getting blur now. Its getting dark. How can it get dark so soon. I still havent found you. I still havent reached you. Can you come over to me. Please. Oh!!..its getting more dark. Please come quick. Give me your hand.

I love you Radhika....I really d..............................

====================================

Radhika kept staring at the paper in her hand. There were tears in her eyes. One tear managed to free itself and fall down on the paper. She looked at the paper again and read the last line.

I love you Radhika....I really d O.............................
It seemed complete now. The tear had fallen right at the end completing the "O".

More tears followed.

kabhi...kabhi

pyaar koi labz nahi hotonse batane ko,

woh to ek ehsaas he aankho se samjhaane ko,

zindagi guzar jayegi pal zapakte hi,

jilo ise jaise har pal me ho wajah muskuraane ko.

koi yaad kare aapko to kuch baat he,

koi ruthe, koi to ho manane ko.
fir kabhi sochte he hum, kya roega yeh zamana

jab chale jayenge hum door kahi, kabhi bhi wapas na aane ko.

===========================

kabhi lagti ho aap parayee, koi ajnabee ho,
woh saath guzare hue pal, beeta hua kal ho,

tasveer jab saamne aa jaati he aapki,

lagti ho aap kuch apni si , aap hamari jaan ho.

kabhi sochte he hum raat raat bhar,

ki kya mila hume aapko dil de kar,

aankh band karke jab jhankte hu khud he andar,

bas ek hi chehra aapka, aa jaata he nazar.

kabhi rehta hu yaadon ki kaid me aapki,

na rihaai na zamaanat milti he,

sirf pyaar karne ka gunaah kiya tha humne,

uski bhi itni badi saza milti he.

yeh dard ka silsila tut hi nahi raha he,

dooriyon ka faasla mit hi nahi raha he,

ashq ab sookh gaye he ...ro ro ke,

aap par iska kuch asar bhi ho nahi raha he.

khwaabon ke itne tukde ho gaye he,

kuch paas me, kuch door bikhar gaye he,

jab bhi koshish karta hu unhe jodne ki,

sachai ki talwaar se fir se kut gaye he.

haalat ab kuch aise ban gaye he,

na bhul sakte he hum aapko, na yaad bhi kar sakte he,

bas jiye jaa rahe he hum isi ghum me,

ki kabhi aap ho nahi saki hamari, aur hum kuch kar bhi nahi sakte he.

BLAH BLAH BLAH....

Hi....
Yo...
How you doing?
Great....and what about you.
Not too bad.
Hmmm.....

You know something....its been close to two months!! and I havent written any new poem nor any story.
2 months!! ....Great ...keep it up.....and dont worry ...bad habits do take time to leave....but eventually they do...

Haha.....very funny....But you see...I am not so sure what has happened. Its not that I am short of ideas or have hit the writers block. NO. I got plenty of them stuck in my head. But when it comes to getting them out, the mood changes. ....Dunno why.
You know something....I always hated that stuff.

Ya....I know....whatever... !! Anyways, somehow I feel that the fuzz inside me has fizzled away !! .
..fizzled away?? ....sheeeeeeeshh.....i wonder if there is even a word like that !! ...

To be frank, I guess I been pre-occupied with work. Yes, its true. Probably that might be one reason. Also, that perhaps nothing interesting or happening is happening!!

happening is happening"!!!!...sheesh!!...whats happening dude ...control !! ..... :-)

No...I mean I have so much to write but not finding the time perhaps. And when I do find the time, the mood goes under cover. Now mood does decide what I put up here. Not that I am a very moody person, but still it holds quite some significance.

Dude!! Tell me frankly... Does anyone read the stuff you write?
Yes ..I guess...maybe.

Does anyone wait for it eagerly?
hmmmm.. I dont think so. And why should they. I started writing this blog for my own and not for anyone else...i think!!. ..

Precisely.!! Does anyone even care about what you put in here or what you dont? Does it matter? Does it make any difference to the thinking of the person reading it? Does it make any difference to the world!! ? .......Sheeeeeeesh !!! ....For all I can say, stop this crap.
Crap?? Dont call this crap buddy......Its the only outlet I have for my feelings....for my emotions.....

Feelings....Emotions!! ....ya right....What the heck dude....There is no such things as feelings ...emotions....its all for the books and fairy tales...and movies ..and stuff like that.....In reality...its just how to be practical..Everything else just goes for a toss...Its happening dude...look around..
NO....No....its not like that with everyone. Sometimes they do hold importance.

Oh do they now??...Look who is talking !!.....Well...tell me what have you got out of
them ?? ...Have they helped you in any way? Have they even been considered ? ..forget about being responded to ??
Well....I ......I mean....

Grow up buddy.....Get over with this....Life cannot be lived with soft and weak stuff like
these.....Live life the hard way....the tough way....The practical way!!....like many do. ...People dont give a damn of what you think ...of what you feel....or of what your so called 'emotions' which are hiding inside you...waiting to find their ...what was the word you used "OUTLET" !! ....yes ...outlet!! ....
Its not like that ...Sometimes they do....

There.... you said it yourself... "Sometimes" !!.....And what about the other times ??
I dunno. But I feel they do.

Ya ..Ya...thats what you think.....!!....Keep thinking.....Thats all you can do. I sometimes wonder, why do you do things that should not be done. I mean....you know....what I am talking about right....I mean.... its all about choices... I believe. And people have choices. And you cant change other people's choices, unless they themselves want to. And sometimes, when they realise and want to change their choices, it can sometimes be too late to do so. I mean you cannot change the way a person thinks about you, feels about you ...can you? And its very difficult to change their choice if you cant change their feelings.
Aha....thats my point..now you said it yourself...FEELINGS.....!! My only aim is to find the outlet for my feelings...irrespective of what other people think or act or choose. Let their choices remain to themselves, changed or unchanged ...it dosent matter to me.

Now you are talking sense.
Hmmm... We both are right in our own ways arent we ....Its just that I had lost in somewhere. I guess I had got too attached to what I was writing.

Uhhh....excuse me...Lost it ?? ...when did you "Have" it to loose it!! .. :-)
No...No...but having said that something is wrong here. Dead wrong. I cant do this. I cant just write for the sake of writing. I cant just write without having any attachment. It wont make that great a thing to read. Will it ?

Huh...What was that ??
Having said that I do standby what you said....I need to stop over doing it.....I mean.... Its time to take some decisions. Some strong decisions.
What?
Its about time.
Whaaaaa?
The strength has to seep in.
Huhhhh !!
Its time for change. A new start. ..........BLAH BLAH BLAH......
Oh ENUF...DUDE...ENUF......
BLAH BLAH BLAH......
STOP IT ...cant take your bullshit anymore. ...
BLAH BLAH BLAH......
You seriously need to take some medications!!.....
BLAH BLAH BLAH......

ROG ..when love is a disease...!!

I was just lazying around at home, watching TV when i saw a song featuring Irfan Khan. I really admire his acting abilities and must have seen almost all his recent movies. But I was unable to recollect what I was seeing on TV that day. The song looked so familiar, but the video was new to me. Later the name of the movie flashed across. Movie : ROG ...and I was like ....yeaaaaah.....a movie with this name had come and gone with the blink of an eyelid. There were a few songs which I remember listening to them when the audio was realeased way back in 2004, Guzar na jaaye was a decent track then. Its been 4 years !! and I am listening to songs from the movie now! ....

The song I was seeing on TV was Maine Dil se Kaha.

===========================
Maine Dil Se Kaha :

Maine dil se kaha, dhoond laana khushi
Nasamajh laya gum, to yeh gum hi sahi
Maine dil se kaha, dhoond laana khushi
Nasamajh laya gum, to yeh gum hi sahi
Maine dil se kaha dhoond laana khushi

Bechaara kahan jaanta tha
Khalish hai yeh kya khala hai
Shehar bhar ki khushi se
Yeh dard mera bhala hai
Jashna yeh raaz na aaye
Mazaa toh bas gam main aaya hai

Maine dil se kaha, dhoond laana khushi
Nasamajh laya gum, to yeh gum hi sahi

Kabhi hai ishq ka ujaala
Kabhi hai maut ka andhera
Bataao kaun bes hoga
Main jogi banu ya lutera
Kayi chehre hai is dil ke
Najaane kaunsa mera

Maine dil se kaha dhoond laana khushi
Nasamajh laya gum, to yeh gum hi sahi

Hazaaron aaise phaasle the
Jo Tai karne chale the
raahe magar chal padi thi
Aur peeche hum rah gaye the
kadam Do chaar chal paaye
Kiye phere tere mann ke

Maine dil se kaha, dhoond laana khushi
Nasamajh laya gum, to yeh gum hi sahi
Maine dil se kaha, dhoond laana khushi
Nasamajh laya gum, to yeh gum hi sahi
================================

But there was another song, which was even better than this one. Yet another beautiful song gone unnoticed. The songs Khoobsurat he Woh ...sung by Kreem MM ( music director ) and also by Udit narayan, 2 versions. The song is simply ...LOVELY!! ...They lyrics so simple ...yet so beautiful....

Khoobsurat hai woh:

Khoobsurat hai woh itna sahaa nahi jaata
kaise hum khud ko rok leraha nahi jaata
Chaand me daag hai yeh jaante hai hum lekin
raat bhar dekhe bina uskoraha nahi jaata
Khoobsurat hai woh itna sahaa nahi jaata

jo mera ho nahi paayega is jahaa me kahi
rooh ban kar miloonga usko aasma me kahi
Pyaar dharti par farishton sekiya nahi jaata
Khoobsurat hai woh itnasahaa nahi jaata

un nigaho me mohabbat nahi to kaho aur kya hai
par woh mujh se yeh keh raha woh kisi aur ka hai
zarasa jhoot bhi dhang sekaha nahi jaata
Khoobsurat hai woh itnasahaa nahi jaata

Aankh me kaid kiye baithame ek haseen lamha
jab me is neend se jagoongato dil tutega
woh mujhe khwaab koi kyondikha nahi jaata
Khoobsurat hai woh itnasahaa nahi jaata

==============================

URL :http://www.songs.pk/rog.html
I guess ... its time I see the movie.

Goo Goo Dolls - Iris

I had never heard of this song, neither of the album, neither the band.
But the moment I heard it, found some kind of connection towards it......unexplainable...

================================

And I'd give up forever to touch you
Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight

And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything seems like the movies
Yeah you bleed just to know your alive

And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am



URL : http://www.radioblogclub.com/open/151996/iris/Iris-%20Goo%20Goo%20Dolls

Over a cup of espresso...

"I am 29 and still single dude", Amod said to Nilesh sipping his espresso at the barista.
"So what.....you are not the first of your kind", Nilesh replied.
"Yes I know dude, but hey the number of "my kind" is very less. I know loads of other guys going out with more than one girl at a time. How do they manage to do that", Amod continued.
"Well, they are different.", Nilesh said.
"What do you mean different?, Amod sulked.
"Cmon dude, you can get any girl you want. Maybe you are just not trying hard enough. Or Maybe your timing is not right. When the right time comes, you will get her. Besides, its time you let your parents find a girl for you and you get married. That will solve all your problems". Nilesh concluded.
"No dude, you dont understand. I mean....I wish.....Ahhh forget it, you wont understand"., Amod sulked sipping his espresso again looking around the place. He spotted a couple enter the door.

"See...chk that girl out. Isnt she pretty? and look who she is with! ..Sheesh. That guy has a bloody beer belly hanging out.....Dont you think I and her would have made a better pair?, Amod tried again.
"Wellll.........Hmmm....yes", Nilesh replied after a long pause.

"See..See...thats my whole point. Why is that the cocky guy, sometimes who is least interested in the girl, is usually the one who get the girl? Why cant a nice guy like me get one?, Amod kept his point of argument. "I keep hearing the words "Amod...You're a really nice guy, but I only like you as a friend!" I mean, why do they ditch me, a guy, who would treat them like a princess and give them everything they want.........and go after someone who treats them like nothing special?", Amod had a crooked smile on his face now.
"Well...not all girls are like that Amod". Nilesh responded.
"Aha...not all, but most of them are...I know dude..I have faced it.", Amod was sulking again. "You know everthing right".

Nilesh thought enough was enough. Amod was not going to listen to him the easy way. So its better if he took the tough way out.

"Ok Dude, you want the answers. Honest answers." Nilesh replied.
"Yes..please", Amod said eagerly waiting to hear him speak.

"OK. Listen carefully now. You said you were "nice" isnt it?. Well, firstly "nice" equates with boring and predictable."
"Huh", Amod replied.

"Yes...Look up "nice" in the dictionary. You will find: pleasant; agreeable; satisfactory. In other words, average -- not exceptional, not exciting, and not sexy, Nilesh explained.
"uhh...Ok...Go on", Amod said.

"Well...I'll bet you've never heard a girl say she didn't want to date a guy because he was too confident, too passionate, or too exciting -- have you? But, I'll bet you have heard her say things like, "He's such a nice guy. He's so sweet and he's always there for me, but I only like him as a friend." Or, "He's such a good guy -- kind, thoughtful, generous, honest, loyal -- but there's no chemistry." Sadly, for you, you hear it all the time. The fact is, Mr. "Nice" Guy, you cannot bore a woman into feeling attracted to you or into wanting to date you.... and..... unfortunately that is exactly what you are trying to do. And it won't work." Amod said.

"So what do you want me to do. Become a casanova. Heart-breaker a.k.a Ranbir Kapoor in Bachna ae haseeno types!! Amod said. "Or do you want me to mistreat them or even ..."

"No, dude no, I am not saying that you mistreat them or disrespect them in any way. What I suggesting is that you value and respect yourself more!!" , Nilesh replied.
Amod gave a confused look.

"Well, let me explain. The problem is you, Mr.Nice guy..."
"STOP CALLING ME THAT ALL THE TIME", Amod shouted.

"Haha ..OK OK sorry. See, the fact is you care too much, too soon. You make the girls too important and too valuable and it shows in everything you say and do. You are too available, too eager to please, too accommodating, and give too much -- all without getting anything or wanting anything in return. By doing so, you have made yourself appear desperate!!....or... insecure, needy of the girl's attention, affection, and approval."

Amod listened now with eyes and mouth wide open. He took another sip of from his espresso, as if to get back into the concentration mode.

"You have stripped yourself of any value in her eyes. After all, if you are already doing and giving everything, without the girl doing or giving anything - why would she value you? She won't. What she is going to do is look for someone else, someone who she perceives as being more worthy, more confident, and more valuable." Amod still has his eyes and mouth wide open.

"Uhhh...dude when did you learn to speak like that? Anyways....continue....", Amod requested.

"Haha...OK..Ok...See it works like this: Once you need something, or you want it too badly, you forfeit your strength and lose all power of negotiation. You are in a position of weakness and you are perceived as weak. Someone (or something) else is in control of you, the situation, and it's outcome. Guys in this situation appear to be anything but confident, strong, and exciting. More, they are perceived as being unworthy and as lacking value.

"Hmm..." , Amod nodded.

"See buddy, it's human nature. Things that are easily acquired, obtained, or maintained, without any effort or sacrifice, lack value......The secret to why the cocky guy wins over the nice guy, is that he is perceived as being a stronger, more confident guy with more value. How? He never invests everything -- his entire being, ego, and self-worth in what one girl's response or reaction to him is. He doesn't gush with compliments; he isn't always available; he doesn't give too much; and he knows he isn't going to die if a woman says "no" to him. More, his attitude is, yeah, I'd like to go out with you, but if I can't, that's OK -- I'm a busy guy, with exciting things going on, and lots of other options."

"Well, what you said is really true. But dosent love hold any significance ?", Amod enquired.

"Love is just a 4 letter word. For some, it works. For some it dosent. For you it dosent. Love can be indecisive. But then, indecision is itself a decision in way. Its like a choice you make not to decide. So keep it that away. Be more cocky and you will get the girl you want. Love will happen later. Never force it to happen. Be strong. Be confident. Bring your attitude in the picture. Make them feel they need you rather than you need them. Simple. "Nilesh said concluding.

"Hmm, maybe you are right. I guess I need to be not so nice now.... Oh..my espresso is over. Shit!, It's time. Lets move. We are getting late." Amod said.

"OK . Mr. Not so "nice" guy" , replied Nilesh winking as they both left the place laughing.