The Last Dance...

And there she was standing in front again

slightly drenched by a little cold rain

her hair dancing on her beautiful little face

she carries herself with so much grace

|

And there she smiles blinding my eyes

followed by a chuckle and cute naughty sighs

she holds my hands and puts it on her waist

her hands around my neck, with a little more jest
|
"Lets dance", she says, "till the rain stops"

a sideways movement, with tiny little hops

she climbs on my feet, pretending to be tall

gently kisses my cheeks, looking like a doll

|
After a while, she rests her head

on my chest, she makes her bed
the warmth of her body,against my skin

burning me up, completely within

|

I hold her tight and kiss her lips

we dont say a word, just move our hips

"I love you" I say, she smiles little shy

"Thank you" , she replies I wonder why

|

|

Sometimes silence says more than thousand words

sets free all of them, as if feelings are birds

we look at each other, not a word we say

to share so many thoughts, we still find a way

|

The time gone by flashes in front of the eyes

there is a smile on the face but the heart still cries

memories and moments and all those little things

Ahhh.. destiny will weep, as fate silently sings

|

Perhaps this is how love is supposed to be

mutual and quiet and expectation free

just knowing deep inside that it exists and is true

a broken heart is fixed, when love acts like a glue

|

I hug her once more, a gentle tight squeeze

her eyes are closed, she is at so much ease

standing at cross-roads, we see our paths separate

she lets go of my hand, feeling little desperate

|
The rain now finally comes to a halt

the heaven have cried, its time to depart

"Goodbye" she says, as she walks away

"I will love you always", I reply, "forever this way"

Dil Dhoondta Reh Gaya...

unhone undekha karke rasta badal diya
dil churakar dhadkan ka qatal kar diya
hum tanhayion me dhoondte rahe sahara
aur unhone khudko ko gairo ke hawale kar diya

unke aasuno ko pike, saara dard unka humne le liya

fir bhi tassali na hui, thoda aur dard hume de diya

unko baaho me leke, saara ghum unka humne bhulwaya

fir kyoun chhod diya hume besahara, dil ko aise dukhwaya

itna pyaar kiya unse humne ki

ishq ki aag me khud ko humne jala dala

saath diya har pal unka humne ki

unke liye, apno ko bhi humne bhula dala

takdeer ne daga diya, har baar is tarah

haatho ki lakeer, bikhri si padi he har jagah

khud se khafa rahu, ya rahu unse naraaz

pyaar me unke dil, aisi kaunsi khata kar gaya

mera khuda bhi itna naaraaz he mujhse
ghum ki siyahi se mera nasib likhta reh gaya
unhone bhi dee mujhe aisi pyaar karne ki saza
aansuon me khudke me to doobta reh gaya

seene me dil to he lekin, dhadhkan he nahi

khoya khoya sa rehta hu har pal har jagah

saanse chal rahee he,  par zindagi he nahi

sochta rehta hu door jaane ki kya thi wajah

unhe paakar koi aur, kabhi bhi paa nahi sakega

dil me unke sada ke liye, sirf humara hi naam rahega

meri mohabbat ki takad ka andaza nahi he unko

dil tootkar phir bhi, unke diye hue, zakhmo ko sahega

jab bhi yaad ayenge hum, dil unka bhi royega

aansu peene wala aisa ashiq, phir kahan unhe milega

jab bhi mann unka yaado ke sagar me doobega

kaske baaho me bharne wala, phir kahan unhe milega

shikayat nahi unse, na he unse kuch bhi ruswayee
dosh to zindagi ka he, khushiyan jo meine payee
ghadi ke kaato ko me, dekhta reh gaya bebas hokar
door chalee gayee woh, palat kar fir nahi muskurayee

taare bhi ro padenge judai pare humare,

barsega tab khuda ki aankho se bhi paani

nachegi woh usme apne yaar ke sang jhoomke,

chaand reh jayega us din, bankar sirf ek kahani.

tadpegi woh bhi gumsum si raato me

yaad jab bhi humari aayegi unko

tab bhi dua maangega dil unke liye

khushiyaan humari mil jaye sari unko

kuch adhura sa lagta he, kuch to chhoot raha ho jaise

unke na hone ka dard kitna he, unko samjhau to bhi kaise

ghum ka saya darata he har baar, har jagah mujhe

andhere se mehfus dil, ro raha he futkar kahi jaise

ab kaunsi raah pe chalega toota dil mera
gumraah jab usko, manzil ne khud kar diya
jahan hoga sannata aur tanhayee ka basera
apne aap ko wahan, dil dhoondta reh gaya...

dil dhoondta reh gaya ...

Alvida...

Sometimes...some songs just touch that portion of the heart which is the most sensitive one. So many memories just come flooding to the brain by just listening to the song. Pain, anger, frustration, betrayal, desperation, all the good times, all the bad times, all at once.

Heard one such song and felt that whoever has written this song must have definitely felt the pain of separation, that pain of betrayal. Each and every line is so meaningful, so heart touching. As if trying to convey to some person how much pain has been caused and how much he is suffering. And the way KK has sung it putting his whole soul in it is absolutely fabulous.

The song has a great tempo too, starts slowly and quietly as if trying to ask someone "kyoun?" and then it picks up such a pace and lyrics as if trying to say "ab dekhna kya hota he".

I am sure all those who have felt heartbreaks will love screaming out this song loudly.
Surely a "HEARTFELT" song. Must Listen .... NJOY !!

---
Chupke se kahin, Dheeme paao se
Jane kis tarah Kis Ghadi
Aaghe badh gaye Humse raahon mein
Per tum to abhi the yahin
Kuch bhi na suna
Kab ka tha gila
Kaise keh diya Alvida

Jinke darmiyan Guzri thi abhi
Kal tak yeh meri Zindagi
Lo unn baahon ko Thandhi chao ko
Humbhi kar chale Alvida
Alvida Alvida
Meri raahein alvida
Meri saansein kehti hai Alvida
Alvida alvida Abb kehna aur kya
Jab tune keh diya Alvida

Sunle bekhabar yun, aankhein pher kar
Aaj tu chali ja .....Doondhegi Nazar
Humko hi magar Har jagah
Aise raaton mein
Leke karwate yaad humein karna
Aur phir haarkar
Kehna kyun magar
Keh diyaaaa
Alvida Alvida Koi poche to zara
Kya socha aur kaha alvida
alvida alvida abb kehna aur kya
Jab tune keh diya Alvida


Hum the diljale Phir bhi dil kahe
Kash mere saang aaj hote tum agar
Hoti har dagar gulsitaa
Tumse hai khafa hum naraaz hai
Dil hai pareshaaan
Socha na zara tune kyon bhala
Keh diya
Alvida Alvida Koi poche to zara
Kya socha aur kaha alvida
alvida alvida abb kehna aur kya
Jab tune keh diya Alvida

----

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vs59WX9vjmE

pyaar ki daastan...

ek tute dil ki awaaz he yeh,
dard se bhari muskaan he yeh,
aansu poch kar fir se jo ro de,
ek anokhi pyaar ki daastan he yeh.

us tute dil ko dekhkar, door se,
aate he sab dawa lekar,
maangte he dua, karte he marammat,
jodte he tukdo ko, mohabbat dekar.

dete he pal, khushiyon bhare,
rehte he sang, humsufar bankar,
pakadte he haath, zor se kaskar,
baahon me bharke, gale se lagkar.

pyaar ki kashti, behti rehti he,
unke hi saanso ke zor par,
zindagi haseen ban jaati he,
rehti he seene me woh, dhadkan bankar.

par shayad nasib ko, yeh manjoor nahi,

dil khush ho kisika itna, yakeen nahi,

dekh nahi pata is dil ko sukoon me woh,

badal deta he rukh, woh jo dikhta nahi.

kya maza ata he use isme wohi jaane,

kya saza he yeh bhi jaanta nahi,

zindagi dene wala kyoun karta he yeh,

kyun khelta he dil se aise, pata nahi.

bhejta he koi shaqs, ajnabee bankar,

nazar jaan pe mere daalkar,

kehta he do labz, woh ishq ke churakar,

door le jaane ki use, zid pakadkar.

fir ata he tufaan, andheri raat me,

jalta he dil fir se, nafrat ki aag me

aankh se khoon ki nadi he behti,

murjhata he dil ka phool, fir bheed bhari baag me.

le jata he use gairo ki baaho me,

saari kasmo ko aise todkar,

yaad bankar dhadkan mar jaati he,

dil hota he akela firse us modpar.

kya farak padta he use, haath ko chodkar,

kya ansu ata he use, rooh ko nochkar,

us ehsaas ka gala, ghut jata he,

woh jo kabhi raha tha zindagi bankar.

fir se basahara dil, cheekhta rehta he,

raato me akela, usika naam lekar,

fir se zindagi se haarta he bechara,

kya kami reh gayee pyaar me poochkar.

agar itna pyaar karne par bhi,

door jaata he dil todne wala,

pyaar ka bharosa kaise karega dil,

fir se ayega koi jab ise jodne wala.

ek tute dil ki awaaz he yeh,

dard se bhari muskaan he yeh,

aansu poch kar fir se jo ro de,

ek anokhi pyaar ki daastan he yeh.

phir kyun dil ...

raah me milte he, kai saare chehre
bas ek chehra kyoun is dil ko bhata he
kya khaas he usme, yeh jaanta  bhi nahi
phir kyun dil, sirf usi ko chahta he...
 
dekhti he jab woh, mujhe taak kar
ankho me khokar uske duniya bhul jata he
kya jaado he usme, yeh jaanta bhi nahi
phir kyun dil, sirf usi ko chahta he...
 
khud ko bhulake, baaho me uske
sukoon jo itna dil ko aata he
kya junoon he usme, yeh jaanta bhi nahi
phir kyun dil, sirf usi ko chahta he...

sapno me khokar, jahan basa leta he yeh
khush khudko itna tab pata he
kya jannat he usme, yeh jaanta bhi nahi
phir kyun dil, sirf usi ko chahta he...

haath pakad ke uska, haatho me
raasta pata nahi kaise kat jata he
waqt kaise guzar jata he, yeh jaanta bhi nahi
phir kyun dil, sirf usi ko chahta he...

dua maangta nahi, kiski k liye kabhi
jab bhi mangi to wohi yaad aata he
kya khudayi he usme, yeh jaanta bhi nahi
phir kyoun dil, sirf usi ko chahta he...

pyaar ishq mohabbat, to sirf alphaaz he
yeh kuch aur hi he, jo ehsaas ban jaata he
kya naam de ise, yeh jaanta bhi nahi 
phir kyun dil, sirf usi ko chahta he...
 
jhalak ke liye uske, tarasta he har roz
door jaake us se, ek pal na reh paata he
kya dor bandhi he uske saath, yeh jaanta bhi nahi 
phir kyun dil, sirf usi ko chahta he...

adat ho gayee he uski is tarah
mehfil me bhi dil, tanha ho jata he
zindagi ka kya hoga aage yeh jaanta bhi nahi 
phir kyun dil, sirf usi ko chahta he...

 

phir bhi kyun dil, sirf usi ko chahta he...

The Second Proposal

The night was dark.
The air was cold.
The mood was bad.

It was just like any other day at work and Rashmi was doing what she did best - lots of "hardly" work, Sitting in her office, in her cubicle, her eyes looking at the computer screen in front, her mind was wandering all around the globe of her thoughts. Her beautiful journey was suddenly interupted by "Chin ta ta chita chita chinta ta ta" ringtone coming out from her cell.
 
"Hello" she said sharply, angry to be woken up from her daydream.
"Hello", a voice on the phone said. 

A simple commonly used word by many - Hello. Rashmi must have heard it a million times before from many different people. But this "hello" was different even though she felt she had heard it before. It made her heart beat in a way that no other "hello" has ever done before. It was like a magic spell of time travel throwing her back into another world. A world that had been destroyed yet living somewhere deep inside her.

"Kevin??", she replied slowly, almost pinching herself a little, not able to believe.
"Heyyyyy... Rashmi", Kevin replied.
"Kevvvviiiinnnnn...OMG...how r u doing...", Rashmi was overjoyed, feeling her heart beating twice as fast as before.

Only a few days back Rashmi was furious when his thoughts had brushed her mind. It had been years that they had talked or met. Kevin had not bothered to reply to her mails nor calls and she had decided never to reach out to him again. And now this. Just hearing his voice, made her smile, made her happy. The happiness that had eluded her for years. Her brain was suddenly flooded with all the moments spent with him. All those wonderful memories. Those eyes, that smile, his touch. That "Real" happiness everyone wishes for, that "real" love everyone longs for.

"I am doing fine. I landed in Delhi yesterday. Actually, I was fighting with myself whether to call you or not and I lost the fight and here I am speaking to you.", Kevin said without taking a breath.
"Okayy .. hmmmm .."she replied feeling strangely happy. 
"So...how have u been doing. Hope I am not disturbing you", Kevin said almost laughing.
Rashmi laughed back.
"Why are you laughing?", he asked.
"Why are youuuu laughing?, she replied back laughing even more loudly.

It was weird. Years had passed since their breakup but still it felt that nothing had changed. Rashmi remained quiet after controlling her laughter nerves. She was feeling happy for some known or unknown reason.

"This is weird right" ,Kevin continued. "I mean I never expected we would be laughing like this when we talk. I always felt that there is a bit of awkwardness when ex-s meet or talk after long time".

"Hmmm...well.. to be honest, even I am surprised. I was really angry with you for just walking out of my life like that. But now when I am hearing your voice, I dunno why all that anger and hatred towards you just evaporated." Rashmi replied.

"Hmmmm .." , was the only sound Kevin could make. "I am sorry Rashmi for giving up on you", he said after a moment of silence. "But hope you understand why".

"yaaaaa... lets not go into that now", Rashmi replied. "So tell me how have you been doing, how is work and everything"

"Dont change the subject Rashmi. I am trying to say something. Please hear me out. ", Kevin raised his voice a little.

"What do you want to say Kevin ? That you loved me once and then suddenly realised that nothing was going to work out, so you decided to just stop loving, walk out of my life as if everything would be fine. You had even mentioned it that dont worry time will heal everything. But NO kevin, it has not. My wounds are still open and your thoughts keep reopening them all the time. Time has passed, but I am still thinking about you even though now I should not", Rashmi paused.

" Even I still think about you Rashmi. I dont know why but no matter who I am with, I do not feel the same way I feel, when I am with you. There is something there which is binding us together Rashmi and that is why even after so many years, I still feel that as if it was only yesterday since I last spoke to you. Why does this happen. Coz i realised..... ", Kevin said without a pause.

Rashmi was silent, waiting to hear what he was got to say next.

"Coz i realised that the only thing in this world that really matters to me is you Rashmi.", Kevin replied slowly.

Rashmi was quiet. She didnt know wat to say. After an awkard silence, Kevin spoke again.

"Can we meet?", he replied almost begging in a way. Rashmi wanted to say No, but something inside her really wanted to see him. 
"I will be free in an hour", she replied not anwering in a yes or a no. 
"Ok, will come to pick you up outside your office.", he replied.
"Wait, do you know where I work now?", she replied surprised.
"I did my research... as always", Kevin replied with a smile.

An hour later, they were in a restaurant, close to Rashmi's house having dinner and listening to live romantic gazals being played out. Waiting for the food, talking about all the old moments they had shared together, and all the new things that happened in their lives in the past many years, laughing ocassionaly, smiling sometimes, just looking into each other eyes, having so much to say, but not finding words. They knew that there was something, some connection which made them feel, the way they felt, for each other. Its a rare feeling. Its like two souls talking to each other. Its divine.

Rashmi wondered why Kevin was back in her life and instead of being angry or staying away from him, why was she sitting with him having dinner. Deep inside she knew that no matter what happened, she would always love only one person and that is Kevin. She too never felt the same way for anyone else like she did for him. Perhaps fate had some plan in mind. Perhaps something interesting was going to happen in her life afterall. Perhaps she would still have a "lived happily ever after" moment soon. But then she was cautious. She didnt want to go into a dreamland so soon. She wanted to just take things as they came.

Kevin wondered how to tell Rashmi how he felt for her. It had been years, but he could never get over her. He came back for her, but would she accept him back. 

After having a lovely dinner and walking back home. It was cold. Rashmi replied, thank you, as Kevin made her wear his jacket. She felt good to be taken care of like this. Kevin realised that it was now or never.

As he stood with Rashmi below her society, Kevin looked straight into her eyes without saying a word.
"Kevin???", Rashmi replied with a smile looking straight back at him. He slowly stretched his hand and held her fingers gently.

"There is something I wanted to tell you for a really long time now. All this time, we were separate, I could never really let go of you. I thought about you each and every day, each and every moment. I tried my best not to, but I failed each and everytime.", he uttered slowly as Rashmi looked into his eyes.

"Now I dont really need to tell you this, but as they say sometimes words just need to be spoken out. There was a song once which said, that love cannot be expressed by lips, thats why in love eyes become the tounge. I knew that our eyes had already confessed what our heart desires were, but then saying it aloud and making it official was a big big committment to be made. I was scared of it, but not anymore. I know you already know this, but all i wanted to say was I love you very very much." Kevin said it ending with a smile. 

"Kevin ! ", Rashmi replied avoiding eye contact, not knowing what to say or how to react. "Are your proposing to me again.?", she replied finally with a calmness in her voice.

" Listen Rashmi. I may have said those 3 words to you already, but then that was then. There were some very important things that I wanted to say then but could not. And I need to tell it to you now before its too late. Now I dont know whether i love you truly, madly or deeply or whatever, but those are just words. All i know that when I look at you, my heart feels something inside it. I dont know how to describe that feeling, but its there. And i feel happy. What I really wanted to say was that
there are some things I want to do for the rest of my life, like
I just want to look at your face and keep looking.
I just want to see your smile.
I just want to look into those lovely eyes. If tears come in them, I want to drink them off before they fall to the ground and get wasted. They are precious. Everything about you is precious.
I just want to see you laugh like crazy, i want to make you laugh like crazy.
I want to get up everyday, see you next to me, sleeping peacefully in my arms.
I want to kiss you gently waking you up and when you smile at me, want to hug you tightly.
I want to see you get ready, put on your clothes, see you put on your daily makeup.
I want to watch you while you comb your wonderful hair, tilting your head at one side and then the next, smiling at me from the mirror, a little shy.
I want to hold your hand and go for long walks.
I want you to hold my arm near my elbow and rest your head on my shoulders.
I want to hold you in my arms and tell you each day how beautiful you are.
I want to hug you tightly and never let go.
If you are worried about something, I want to kiss you gently on your forehead and tell you everything is going to be okay.
I want to be there for you, by you, with you at all times.
I want to take care of you and make lots of babies with you. I want us to bring them up together till they finally stand on their own feet.
I want to see your hair turn grey slowly, want to watch you get fat and get wrinkles and become old, but still looking very pretty.
Then I want to wait with you, hold your hand, till life departs from my body. And before I leave this world, I want to wish and pray that if there is a next life, I get you back in it and I get to relive it all over again with you and only you. ",  Kevin replied speaking each sentence clearly and slowly.

Then he went on his knees, removed a ring and said "I Love you so very much and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Marry me ".

Rashmi had tears in her eyes already. She was laughing at the same time. 
"Yes", she replied as they hugged and kissed.

The night was dark.
The air was cold.
The mood was good.

Once again...

Once again, I try to be strong, in front of fate
About to take my love away, on any given date
"Why?" I ask, "why does it always have to be me?"
It laughs mockingly, "this is how its meant to be".

Once again, I say its wrong, like a bloody twisted joke
Why is my heart, that is the one, always left broke
What wrong do i do, what awful sins do i make
That this punishment i get and a smile i have to fake.

Once again, why its me that always has to let go
Why is it me that always has to hear a no
Why am I the one who has to make the sacrifice
Why is it me that always has to be nice.

Once again, why is it me who has to suffer this pain
To watch my love being taken away again and again
In front of my eyes, a stranger sweeps it away
Leaving me helpless, having nothing to say.

Once again I ask what should I really do now
Be the looser, give up or keep fighting somehow
If loving someone so much, always ends up like this
Then why the hell do I love, why do I always miss.

Once again, I say that I loved with all my heart
Then why do I have to see it like this, being taken apart
Ripped to pieces, left scattered all over the floor
I cant even ask for help, knocking on any other door.

Once again someone comes and steals my love away
Leaving me looking like a dog, left to stray
What can I do, so as to not suffer this disdain
As my love walks away never turning back again.

Once again I am tired, the heavens too wont call me
Why cant they see me happy and just let me be me
Life becomes worthless, bloody dosent even end
Pain keeps poking, teasing me at every other bend.

Once again one more tear washes away the previous one
The heart shrinks inside the chest, mind sits undone
Had already lost faith in God, love will be soon to follow
As I look at myself in the mirror, so empty and so hollow.

Once again I cry, once again I die,
Once again to myself I have to lie
That things will be good, future will be bright
Once again in the dark, I hope to see the light.

Once again ...